How to Get Good Duck Details

Front Page News
2007-07-24 23:02:04
Curious to know what's featured on the front page of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel? The Burlington Free Press? All right, then Tunisia's Essahafa? Right. That's the one. Good then, check out Newseum's Today's Front Pages. Click on a region first, and then select the paper you're looking for. The site provides a screen shot of the day's paper as well as a readable .pdf file and a link to the paper's website. Nifty!This is Primera Hora from Puerto Rico. Primera Hora is translated, if oh-so roughly, into "Number One Whore" in Swedish. Because my Spanish is rusty/non-existent, I'll not go out on a limb-o and say that the Puerto Rico paper is about great whores. But it might be, because, hey, look at those boobies. And something about a Humvee...? Yeah, I don't know... Doesn't sound so newsworthy to me.To receive an email when How to Get Good Duck is updated, click here.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Newseum * headlines * Milwaukee Journal sentinel * ...
News

Get Your Face Off!
2007-07-24 13:58:59
If you're like me and you've always dreamed of being a composite image, but don't have the chutzpeh to ever commit a crime, then Ultimate Flash Face is for you. Below, and I wasted a good 15 minutes trying to get this nearly right, is me... ish. Scary.Tags: * entertainment * pop culture * face * composite * scary * sketch * waste time ...

How to Train Your Dog to Sit Like You... ?
2007-07-23 13:20:40
I did not know that. I did not know that having my dog sit like me is a desirable thing. I also did not know that once my dog can sit like me, he can then learn many other fascinating tricks, some of which involve saluting or holding a wooden pipe in his mouth.Does my dog want to sit like me? Will people who visit ask me if my dog can sit like me? Most importantly, will they think differently of me, if I have a dog that can not sit like me? And furthermore, does my dog want to salute me while smoking a pipe?I do not have a dog, but when I get one, I will make sure that this is the first trick that I teach him. ...
Train

Equine Lawn Mowing
2007-07-20 23:25:14
I have to mow the lawn this weekend, and as previously mentioned, it takes about 3-4 hours to do. This seems like the better way to go:Don't know why I didn't think of this before.To receive an email when How to Get Good Duck is updated, click here. ...

Tailer Wins Prestigious Cat of the Day Award
2007-07-20 20:00:32
It's sort of like the Oscars for cats, except it happens every day: Catster's Cat of the Day awards are given to the most deserving cats in the universe. As with winning an Oscar, the Cat of the Day award opens up doors for the winner: book deals pour in, agents call non-stop, and it's no problem getting a table at any of the best restaurants in the world.Living in the shadow of such a cat can be tricky. About 15 mails (so far) have come into Tailer's Paw Mail (yes, Paw Mail) inbox today, most of them from cats (who can type, apparently) who want to be Tailer's friend or want to congratulate him on his award.Scary? It's just MySpace for cats, my friends. Meow.To receive an email when How to Get Good Duck is updated, click here.Tags:* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Catster * cats * Tailer * celebrity cats * feline * MySpace ...
Award Cat

House of 1000 Muppets and Cat Boxing
2007-07-20 12:35:17
This is a film I can't wait to see. It's definitely the kind of movie in which feathers are going to fly. Guaranteed.Going to www.houseof1000muppets.com redirects you to www.needcoffee.com, which is currently running a piece on how you can determine the volume of your cat, as tested and proven by Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories.As you can see, my surfing efficiency ratio (sometimes referred to as the linkage to quality information ratio) is rather high today.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Muppets * Rob Zombie * film * cats * volume * boxing * horror ...
Boxing Cat House

Old School Mario and his Communist Plight
2007-07-19 09:59:08
I am not a gamer. Never have been, never will. I have always had a hard time sitting around with guys who just want to play video games. I don't get it.Even back before computer games took over, when it was all about the arcade, I steered clear of those games that required you to reload weapons or run around in castles and slay dragons. My home video game experience lasted for like a year and it was Atari-based. By the time we sold the Atari at a garage sale about a year and half later, we had amassed about 12 games. If that. And at that point, Intellivision was cooler and nobody was playing Atari anyway. I can't even go into the Nintendo Entertainment System. I was long out of it by then.So my top 3 video games of all time (and, again, we're talking arcade stuff here) are Galaga (the classic, extremely easy 'you stay still and shoot at the attacking spacecraft, which, thankfully, fly in formation most of the time' game), Cantipede (Wow. Did I say that out loud? Again, another eas ...
Old School School

Is Y'all for &%#@ing Real?
2007-07-17 16:17:36
Thanks to the Daily Tube, I ran into this Read a Book video yesterday, which I thought was fairly funny. With a foul-mouthed finesse (if those terms can actually be used together) and some old school Fat Albert-like animation, the video had me laughing a bit:I think that the song and video are a funny bit, and realize that Bomani "D'mite" Armah is, judging from the fact that he says he is "not a rapper," but a "poet with a hip-hop style", is clearly trying to make a point. Now, despite the fact that the video contains images of black people and uses the word "niggah" a zillion times, the same message could be directed at the millions of white kids who can't tear themselves away from their computers long enough to read the instructions on a box of Pop Tarts, let alone a book. 'Nuff said. Read a book.But I don't think D'mite meant to start a YouTube comment riot. To sift through a few of the (no, I didn't go through all 721) comments on its YouTube page is a teeth-clenching experie ...

Six Degrees of Frustration
2007-07-17 09:13:18
So I know him through her. She knows me through them. I worked with them 20 years ago, and have not seen them since. So, in essence, I am good friends with him. I think.At some point a few years ago, knowing people and knowing people who know people became a big thing. All of this seems to have surfaced about the time that people were tired of playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and wanted in on the action themselves. Friendster, Hi5, myYearbook and Dogster are examples of social networking sites that allow people to hang out and keep tabs on each other (and in Dogster's case, each other's pets) without leaving the comfort of cyberspace. For a list of what they call "notable" social networking websites, go here.About a year ago, somebody asked me why I didn't have a MySpace page. I hadn't come that far yet, I told them, though was definitely planning on it. For me, it was like buying a house. Of course I wanted to do it, but wanted to wait until the timing was right and until I had ...

I've Been Busy
2007-07-07 17:17:53
In response to those of you who have wondered what has happened to the Duck over the past month, well... I've been busy. To properly explain what's been keeping me occupied, I've posted this video on YouTube, which will set the record straight and clear up any of your concerns. Enjoy. ...

I wanna iPhone
2007-07-07 12:53:07
Inspired by this video, I've been standing in line for exactly one month at the local electronics store here in Grythyttan in order to purchase my new iPhone:... only to be reminded that it doesn't go on sale in Europe until... who knows. What am I going to do until "who knows"? How will I survive? I've been practicing by pawing my computer screen for the past several weeks. I'm good at zooming (I think). I can scroll (I would guess).But unfortunately all I have to show for it are snail tracks all over my computer screen. I wonder if Jobs is going to launch a special cleaner that takes off Cheeto residue, or a special line of little "skins" that you wear on your tips. Hmmm.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * iPhone * Steve Jobs * Grythyttan * Cheetos * Europe ...
Iphone

Mind Numbing Entertainment
2007-06-07 11:04:40
Now everyone can be a kaleidoscope! Dreams do come true!Tags: * entertainment * pop culture * kaleidoscope * waste time * dreams ...
Entertainment

I Wanna be THAT Guy
2007-06-07 10:21:31
How many times have you glanced out the window to see your pet rolling in the dirt or grass, seemingly content with that particular task, only to jump up, chase a butterfly for a few seconds, and then resume the rolling bit? Ahhh, to be this guy:Judging from the look on his face, he doesn't have any deadlines this week.Laughing Squid recently posted about this guy, who has mounted a catcam on one of his cats (Mr. Lee) in order to show the world a cat's eye view of how tough life can be.Tags: * cats * life * catcam * cat's eye view * deadlines ...

Sending poop okay - and fun, too!
2007-06-05 14:14:00
Kathleen Ensz, charged in Weld County, Colorado, with criminal use of a noxious substance, was acquitted late last month by a jury of her peers. Ensz, after receiving one too many mailers from Republican Congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave, filled a mailer with doggie doo and sent it back to Musgrave.Apparently, mailpoop.com has been doing it for years, serving up fresh samples and sending them anonymously to deserving recipients. Thankfully, the anonymity is no longer needed! Yay legal system!I wonder if Ensz has a new target in mind. Personally, I can't think of a single person who deserves a little pooping on.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat * conservative * liberal * congress * poo * poop * poopie * poopy * doo * doodoo * doody * crap * crappy * caca * turd * steamer * load * coiler * Kathleen Ensz * Marilyn Musgrave * Weld County * mail ...
Fun

Karlstorp Street View - Version 2.0
2007-06-04 12:06:04
As you already know, you civilized people, you... Google Maps has introduced Street View, which allows you to stalk ex-girlfriends and boyfriends as they roam the streets of the city that you used to call the "love nest," that is - as long as your love nest was in SF, Las Vegas, Denver, Miami or New York. I feel for that poor, spectacled intern who had to walk the streets of these five cities, snapping away with his digcam. But, it was nice of Mr. Google to throw Denver in there. Chicago? No, Denver. Mmmm, fun.It's a pretty cool gig, check it out if you haven't already. (Like Google needs me to link to their map. On second thought, I'll change that link. Google doesn't need my charity. The last link will now take you to a sketch of a potato on a skateboard.)So I took a little walk to my old 'hood, down Pacific between Powell and Mason in SF. Right there on good old Wayne Place. Too bad Google Maps can't take us inside and see what the people who live there now are doing. Oh right ...
Street View

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