How to Get Good Duck Details

How to kill good duck
2008-01-21 09:36:06
The duck is leaving the building. Sort of. He's really just changing his name and moving to greener pastures, as ducks and cows tend to do.In order to not create too much work for or put too much pressure on myself (read: Irregularly updating ONE blog is enough, gawd forbid two...), I'm moving How to Get Good Duck over to www.andersporter.com. This way I can keep this incredibly insightful blog, some links to some of my other crap and an 'acquired taste' sampling of some of my writing all in one place.How to Get Good Duck will return one day, more than likely as a star-studded major motion picture. Until then, please check out www.andersporter.com when you have a chance. If you are subscribed to How to Get Good Duck, or are receiving email updates (yes, I'm talking to both of you), you might want to change your RSS feed or re-subscribe for email updates from andersporter.com.Thanks for listening and have a nice day.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * ...

Quit Bitching and Start Writing
2008-01-18 15:47:30
I remember thinking when the writers' strike started a few months ago: oh yeah, right - the Hollywood "strike tool"... they'll take a few days off from work, walk around the streets of L.A. wearing khaki shorts and sunglasses while they drink soy lattes from paper mugs... cell phone in one hand and picket sign in the other... and then it'll quietly go away: some sort of deal will be reached, and they'll take up their cushy little jobs again, wearing khaki shorts and sunglasses while they drink soy lattes from paper mugs...I am sort of happy to admit that I was wrong. I am glad that the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers has not given in yet, even though it seems fair to say that it is only a matter of time before they do.What really amazes me is the timing of all of this. The Internet now provides an open platform on which aspiring writers, actors, directors and producers can strut their stuff. And this stuff is, right now, as good if not better than what you see on th ...
Writing

Can say lots in six words
2008-01-18 12:33:20
Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway was once challengedto write a story in six words. The result was"For sale: baby shoes, never used."- Smith MagazineA while back, Larry Smith and Smith Magazine asked readers to contribute to the site by offering up six word memoirs. The response was extraordinary and now Harper Perennial is publishing a book, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, available next month.I offered up my own, but I can't for the life of you tell you what I submitted, though it was undoubtedly ridiculous and corny and thus didn't make the book. Perhaps the following would have been better and appropriately descriptive:Do not remember what I wrote.In any event, you can check out this awesome video promo for the book and then purchase it here.Tags:* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * SmithMag * Smith Magazine * Larry Smith * Smith * 6 words * Six Word Memoirs * 6 ...

One love.
2008-01-17 09:20:34
Simple. Pure. Converse? Er... okay...Tags: * entertainment * pop culture * converse * converse ad * we * me * we me * bob marley * one love ...
Love

Onions make me cry.
2008-01-12 06:21:34
If it weren't for the diligent reporting from The Onion, I'd have no idea what's really happening out there. Here are two fine examples of tell-all stories, telling all:In the Know: Are We Giving the Robots that Run Our Society Too Much Power?Poll: Bullshit is Most Important Issue for 2008 VotersSee more of this revealing coverage here.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat * conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * The onion * onion * videos * robots * debate * 2008 elections * clinton * bullshit ...

It Ain't Television... It's Brain Surgery
2008-01-11 12:15:19
I heard about this short film a couple days ago on NPR and had to check it out. The 20 minute-long film is very well done and is definitely worth watching. You can see the whole thing here.Suffering from Parkinson's Disease, Ray Farkas decided four years ago to undergo a procedure called Deep Brain Stimulation Surgery, a radical step that would, if successful, reduce some of the shaking that Farkas had been forced to endure due to Parkinson's. The brain surgery requires patients to be awake in order to control the accurate targeting of shake-reducing electrical stimuli. Farkas decided to do what other talented filmmakers would nervously shy away from: he filmed it.The procedure was a success, but Farkas unfortunately passed away on January 4 due to complications from colon cancer. The five-time Emmy award winner had an illustrious career in the documentary television world and is highly respected amongst peers and friends.His sense of humor and love of life is captured in the film and ...
Brain Surgery Television

snack attack 1.0
2008-01-09 19:52:03
I've released a beta (ha ha) version of my new podcast at thesnackattack.com. I've got some issues to sort out with the sound quality and editing and stuff, but it is available for download as an mp3, or you can listen to it on the player below. It should be available on iTunes in the next day or two as well.As soon as I get all the kinks ironed out, I'll be trying to podcast a few times a month (I'm steering clear of using the word "weekly." Scary.)If you have any comments or suggestions, or want to send me your favorite snacks to be crunched on the show, send an email to stillhungry (AT) snackattack.com.Enjoy- Powered by Podbean.com Tags:* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * snack * snacks * snacking * food * podcast * snack news * news * hungry * munch * crunch * lunch * eat some stuff ...

Cognitive psychology defined
2008-01-08 11:36:37
I just started reading Omega Minor by Paul Verhaeghen last night and came across this great entry about cognitive psychology:Cognitive psychology is a beautiful, never-ending enterprise. To lose yourself in the details of the mind, in phenomena that lasts for only a few milliseconds and then dissolve into the great melting pot of consciousness without leaving a trace, it's like trying to guess the number and function of the cogs of a tiny machine encased in a steel box that has been welded shut, just by shaking it. There's a warning sticker on the outside of the mind: Warranty void if opened. No user-serviceable parts inside. Yes, this is the life! This is the real deal; it's like getting a chemistry set for Christmas , but someone forgot to include the instructions.Fantastic!Tags:* entertainment * pop culture * Omega Minor * Paul Verhaeghen * Verhaeghen * books * book review * cognitive psychology * psychology ...
Psychology

Why I Heart Huckabee
2008-01-07 13:12:24
I just sent off my absentee ballot today, and yes, I am on the Obamawagon it seems. The funny thing is that when you look at the list of names of Democrats running, all in one little tiny list, with no color and no sound clips, Obama is (here we go again) the lesser of the evils. So there you have it.But this post is about Huckabee. I just can't stop thinking about that dude. He's whacky and loveable. (If you missed him on Leno, here's one and two.)The reason I like Huckabee is that he's the only one who will talk to me. Back in September, I sent off a list of 4 questions to each presidential candidate. All sent automated responses, a few came back with "sorry no time" standards, written by real people, and ALL of the democrats simply added my email address to their spamming lists. I now get six to eight emails daily from Obama and Edwards (combined) and an occasional one from Hillary. But only one dude actually answered my questions. That's right: Huckabee. They were answered through ...
Heart Huckabee

How to Get Good Tree
2007-12-21 23:06:17
So, today was the day, just a couple days before Christmas, when I finally got my act together (and found the time) to go out into my backyard and choose the tree that would hang out with me in my house over the holidays. This is how it all went down:Me with saw: ready to go.Bound to be some good trees down here.The first potentials - too close to the road, not WILD enough.the saw and the frostdistraction: more amazing frostagain: totally forgot what I was out here to do - blown away by the frostmaybe one of these guys is good enough...distracted again: ice crystals on the streammore ice on the streamright. back to the mission: could this be the one?And then there was this one: the perfect tree.what it looked like immediately after the killin the bathroom, freshing up, er, defrosting...thawed out and finding its place in the corner of my living roomwith lightsand with all the dressing.That's how I got mine.How did you get yours?:-)Merry Christmas ...
Tree

2007-8 Icehotel opens in Schweden
2007-12-13 18:01:33
The Icehotel celebrates St. Lucia Day tonight and the Absolut Icebar opens tomorrow night, which means that after that: it's all good. Come on in... chill out. Hee hee. Ho ho.I was up there last week and wrote this article, focusing on two pairs of artists and the overall concept and construction of the hotel.To see some more random shots of work in progress, check out my flickr account.Enjoy!Tags:* entertainment * pop culture * Icehotel * ice hotel * ice * Jukkasjärvi * Sweden * Lucia * St.Lucia * Christmas * opening * Absolut * Icebar * Ben Rousseau * Jai Drew * Liliya Pobornikova * Viktor Tsarski * cold * hotel * crazy bastards ...

Mitt Romney leading in the polls
2007-12-01 12:01:09
At least in this poll:Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat * conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * mitt romney * bar fight * drunk * clinton * edwards * kerry * poll * election ...
Polls

R U IMing 2 ?
2007-11-29 10:43:20
Time Magazine recently reported that:43% of US teens say that they use instant messaging (IM) to express something they wouldn't say in person.22% of teens sat that they use IM to ask people out or to accept dates.13% of teens use IM to break up with people.I wonder what the latter ends up looking like... Maybe: I H8 U ... ? or I LOL @ U? No, turns out it can be done with a simple FUJIMO, defined in its polite form here.Here and here are (way too long) lists of the abbreviations that the kids are using to dump each other and ask each other out. I am assuming that when they "go out" they take their handhelds with them, so that they can continue to communicate.I am such an OM.Dude.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * IM * instantmessaging * chat * date * teenagers * break up * dump * time * time magazine * fujimo ...

Rudy and the child molester: A vaudeville show in countless acts
2007-11-29 08:49:35
A while back, I gave US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney a hard time. While I still have no plans to support the guy, on the Republican side, he's starting to look like an angel compared to this idiot:This shot is of Giuliani, in his customary pin-stripe wiseguy costume (complete with super-shiny teflon tie), seen with Alan Placa, a high school/college buddy and longtime good friend of Giuliani's. Placa, whom Giuliani employs as a consultant at Giuliani Partners, is also an accused child molester. The Suffolk County Grand Jury Report (Placa is "Priest F") can be seen here and you can scroll through more pictures of the two thugs here.As an attorney (the media has often referred to him as a "wolf in sheep's clothing"), Placa has worked defending and covering up allegations against, you guessed it, other priests accused of the same crimes... His litigation is said to have saved the church hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah, he's another good one to have on your side, Mr. G.What ha ...
Child

Size apparently matters
2007-11-21 12:29:35
Time's best inventions of the year came out late last month and everybody knows that the iPhone topped the list. Tell us something we didn't already know, right?Well, there are a bunch of other great inventions, including these "stackable car" things that will make borrowing a car in a city as easy as borrowing a bike. And then there's these really funky shoe/sandal things from Vibram.But what really got to me in the review of the other best inventions by Time magazine was this sentence, which I have now read about 300 times:The new 45-nanometer Core processor is so compact, you could fit 2 million of its transistors on the period at the end of this sentence.This sentence is referring to the new Intel Core processor that is due out by the end of the year. And it either makes perfect sense to you or it doesn't. You can probably guess which group I'm in. Let's look at it again:The new 45-nanometer Core processor is so compact, you could fit 2 million of its transistors on the period at ...

Uttered in my kitchen, early this morning:
2007-11-21 11:27:44
Go ahead, Aisha, eat. I'm not going to dance around it and make it rain.Huh? ...
Kitchen

Talking Turkey
2007-11-20 08:45:19
Here's some Thanksgiving fun that'll blow your mind - More than likely, the turkey that you will be eating on Thursday has never flown. Or bred. Not for a lack of will, I am sure, but because it couldn't. Fly or breed.The broad-breasted white turkey is the turkey that has dominated the US market for quite some time now, said to represent 99% of the turkeys eaten on Thanksgiving day. To keep up with a demand for cheap white meat, this breed has been genetically engineered to produce a huge-chested (for that great breast meat), short-legged (who eats those anyhow?), white-feathered (to keep the feathers from discoloring the turkeys) and fast-growing (they have to grow fast because they don't live that long) turkey that can't even begin to think about flapping its little wings and becoming airborne, and must be artificially inseminated in order to reproduce.Want something better? Traditional turkeys, called heritage turkeys, are still around, but they are difficult to get a hold of and ar ...
Turkey

Mapping the Tree of Life
2007-11-16 11:17:40
I recently met with Birgitta Bremer, the first woman to serve as Sweden's Professor Bergianus (the top botany position in Sweden, dating back to 1760) and spoke with her about her research. A very charming, highly driven and super-intelligent individual, she is focused on "family tree" style classification that will eventually map the relationships between all living organisms. Yep, all of them.The genus Bremeria is named after her and can be found on Madagascar and the Mascarene Islands. My article about Birgitta Bremer can be read here.Tags: * Birgitta Bremer * www.sweden.se * flowers * research * botany * tree of life * time tree * bremeria * Bergianska * Bergianus ...
Life Mapping Tree

Soup Peddling
2007-11-13 11:10:30
For a short period of time while I was working at an investment firm in San Francisco, I decided to start making and bringing lunch for some of my co-workers. I don't really know why, but I ended up with 5 or 6 regulars who paid me 5 dollars to bring them in whatever I made, once a week. So every week I would go around and double-check that these crazy people still wanted my meals, and would then go shopping and get the ingredients that I needed in order to make a meal that left over enough leftovers (can I say that?) for the whole group.These weirdos actually liked this service, some even tried to convince me to do it every day. Seeing that this was something that I was doing for fun and because I like to cook, it didn't end up being a career move for me. So, I did for a few months, and then I changed departments and... well, it fizzled away. But the reason people liked it and wanted me to keep going was because of the fact that it was a great feeling to have home-made, fresh meals de ...
Soup

The Giuliani-Kerik Connection: Nouns, Verbs and 9-11s
2007-11-10 12:50:09
Joseph Biden was right on when he said that for the most part, Rudy Giuliani's sentences consist of "a noun, a verb and 9/11." What sort of amazes me is that Rudy Giuliani tends to not mess that up. Grammatically, he's correct in placing the noun first, then the verb, and then the 9/11. That's pretty smart for a mafia dude. Nice job Rudy. But that's where the compliments stop, capiche?I have startled myself upright in the middle of the night on many occasions, a cold sweat coating my shaking body. Sick? No - scared. Every now and then I think about the state of things: an irresponsible Republican administration has driven the United States into a rather unfortunate position. We are stuck in a game that none of us really wanted to be a part of, essentially, an unsuccessful Vietnam reprise, a touch football grudge match gone very foul. It's now become an extremely annoying loop that plays over and over again every time you turn on the radio and hear about additional casualties, budget is ...

The Friday Funny
2007-11-10 08:48:15
Dave Chappelle is one funny dude. That's really all I have to say. Plenty of profanity, FYI. Feed readers watch it here. Happy weekend.Tags:* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Dave Chappelle * funny * London * comedy * stand up * cigarette ...
Funny

Velibbing in Paris
2007-11-05 13:24:16
I was in Paris last weekend to hang out with my friend Ellen and we ended up renting some bikes, using the new Velib bike rental program that Paris launched in July of this year. Here's a video showing us wheeling around Paris. Broken up by some amazing Metro puppetry:You may have noticed that the pitch of my voice changed significantly after the white wine and oyster stop. Go figure. I'm not sure that Velib wants a white-wined idiot cruising around Paris on one of their bikes and then reviewing their service on his blog, but who cares. Here goes:First of all, the bikes are awesome. They are really nice three-speed bikes, looking a bit like something that should be called iBike or iVélo or something. They're slick and user friendly. And they have one of those little dinger thingies so that you can scare people as they walk along the sidewalk, causing them to fear for their lives and jump out of the way. Having never owned a bike with a little dinger thingy, I used mine liberally.The w ...
Paris

Toasty schnitzelicious
2007-10-21 12:49:26
You have no idea how long I've been dying to stick my schnitzel in a toaster. Finally, the wait is over! Feed-readers click here to see the fascinating new TOASTY schnitzel... thing.Gotta love that presentation of the TOASTY at the end, carefully placed next to the ketchup-covered macaroni, with a little tomato garnish. Beautiful.----------------Now playing: Carlos Mendes - The Drillvia FoxyTunesTags:* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * toasty * german * schnitzel * toast * toaster * toaster schnitzel ...

Sunday Funnies
2007-10-21 10:14:37
I spent all day yesterday writing and am about to do it again today, so I'm opting for text-light blogging today. In other words, that's where you just go out and steal a bunch of videos and post them. Yawn, but, hey, it's Sunday. Feed readers click through to see these poached videos here.This one is a must. Andy Kaufman doing what Andy Kaufman does. Or did:This is one of the best Bush press conference parodies out there. With zombies:And finally, a classic David Blaine parody. There's a precursor to this one, but the audio is a little annoying, so you get #2:These and other finny little thingies can be found at funnyordie.com.----------------Now playing: Boney M. - Daddy Coolvia FoxyTunesTags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat * conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * funny or die * videos * Sunday * funny * David Blaine * Andy Kaufman * Bush * press conference * zombies ...

Nobel prize winner has racist DNA
2007-10-19 09:46:09
Biologist James Watson, winner of the 1962 Nobel Prize for his role in discovering the double-helix structure of DNA, is apparently a racist idiot. Click-through to full article here.Watson apologized profusely yesterday for a statement that he made in which he insinuated that black people were not as intelligent as white people. He went on to say that he was "mortified" by public reaction to his comments and that he "cannot understand how (he) could have said what (he is) quoted as having said." Let's take a look at what he actually said and see if we can help him to understand what passed through those unruly lips of his.In an interview with The Sunday Times, the 79-year-old pair of lips molded the air being passed through them into words that indicated that he was "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa" because "all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours -- whereas all the testing says not really." Here's a shot of Dr. Watson d ...
Dna Nobel Racist Winner

An uninvited viZitor
2007-10-18 16:01:47
I got a zit. And it's been with me all week, unfortunately, and doesn't seem to have any desire to vacate the premises any time soon. It's great, I feel like a teenager again. The real bummer is that it's right below the right side of my lower lip. In other words, it's pretty strategically placed. I took a picture of it so that I could post it, but there's nothing pretty about a zit, so I'm skipping the self portrait and am opting for the John Belushi version instead:So I figured I could find some sort of amazing home remedy that would take care of the thing overnight, so I Googled "natural zit remedy" to see what I could find.This is apparently a good home remedy:To clear zits quickly, keep a small sealed jar of this natural topical remedy on hand (it keeps for a few months): Combine 2 tablespoons of green clay, 1 tablespoon of goldenseal powder (Hydratis canadensis), 2 to 3 drops of tea tree oil (Melaleuca alternifolia), and enough water to form a paste. Apply the paste to your blemi ...

Love Letters and Correspondence
2007-10-16 10:56:55
Or maybe I should call this one "Love Letters and Correspenisdence." Let me think about that. It's a long one, and I apologize, sort of. Feel free and click through for the whole friggin' thing here.I'm happy to report that I'm not getting as much physical junk mail anymore. And I'm talking about snail mail junk mail, of course, not the electronic variety. Perhaps people actually are getting tired of wasting paper and trees, perhaps people realized that the junk mail went from the mailbox, into my hands for about 60 seconds, and directly into the fireplace. Seems like its dwindling in any event... Maybe it's just out of season and will pour in again when ripe.The electronic junk mail, however, I can set my watch by. Rain, sleet or snow, those little hard-working worms and bugs shuffle around their little cyberpaths, chomping at the bit before they poach my adddesses, lick the virtual envelopes shut, and send me my 4,000 messages about how I can have the Russian bride of my choice or ho ...
Love

Yet another prize for Mr. Gore
2007-10-12 18:31:58
When the Norwegian committee of five announced earlier today that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2007 had been awarded to Al Gore, along with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the planet definitely breathed a sigh of relief. Not just the thousands, perhaps millions, of people who have seen and been touched by his Academy Award-winning "An Inconvenient Truth", but the actual planet herself. Not only did my phone ring with calls from people who were excited by the news, but the skies cleared up over Karlstorp and made way for one of the most beautiful days I have seen in a long time. It was almost as if Mother Nature herself was beaming, puffing out her chest and saying, "See what I can do, huh? Now that you're all looking at me... See what I can do?"It is certainly fair to say that Mr. Gore is certainly proud of his Oscar, of his Emmy, and of all the other prizes that he's been awarded. But this one definitely takes the cake. The Nobel Peace Prize. That's super sexy. Nice work, ...

I'll take it.
2007-10-11 19:55:13
Whatever it is that they're selling. I'll take two. This is um... well, just watch it. ...

They're Baaaack...
2007-10-11 14:13:01
Small, cold white flaky things descending from above. Lock your doors and keep your children inside.Tags: * first snow * sweden * cold * weather * snow * snow * did i mention snow ...

[First] � Prev 1 2 3 4 Next � [Last]

3689 blogs in our database.
Statistics resets every week.