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Punkeys
Punkeys is a site dedicated to exposing the true threat monkeys and all simians pose to humans, bringing proof of their plotting to the public and to also expose the \
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Village People
2008-03-20 12:29:23
We made it to the semis! Please go to the International Blog Cup and vote once per day for Punkeys! The semis run until the 23rd so be sure to vote every day! Thanks!ÂÂ
Apparently, the Punkeys have a rural area protecting them, not unlike the wild regions of Pakistan covering for Osama Bin Laden. Take this village in [...]
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Escape from the Lied Jungle
2008-03-19 12:25:32
Apparently the zoo in Omaha Nebraska is had a jailbreak the other day. From KETV:
Officials at the Henry Doorly Zoo said a Francois Langur monkey escaped from its exhibit on Tuesday morning in the Lied Jungle but was captured a few minutes later.
Kelly Perez and her three children were inside the Lied Jungle. Perez said [...]
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Human Ape
2008-03-17 12:55:32
Apparently National Geographic is the Al-Jazerra of the primate world. It’s quite obvious that they are in the monkey’s pockets and spread their propaganda. Like tonight’s latest campaign of misinformation Human Ape which airs tonight at 8et/7c. Here a chimp shows that it can recognize its own reflection:
Being able to recognize yourself in the mirror [...]
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hulu.com Presents: Planet of the Apes
2008-03-14 12:13:29
We’ve made it into the QuarterFinals of March’s International Blog Cup. Please click here to vote for us into the semis!Â
Want a glimpse into the future if Punkeys had their way?
Here, thanks to hulu.com is the entire Planet of the Apes movie starring Mark Walhburg. Rated PG-13.Â
from www.hulu.com posted with vodpod
[...]
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Talk monkey with me
2008-03-13 13:00:57
For those of you who do not believe in evolutions, hold on to your halos because the Punkeys are getting more advanced with each passing day. They can now “talk” in broken sentances! From LiveScience:
The ability to string different words together to express complex ideas was a milestone in the development of language that researchers [...]
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Crap Sheet
2008-03-12 13:02:01
Seems our old friend Chico has a crap…I mean RAP sheet. Apparently Chico is a poo-flinger from way back. From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:
A monkey once blamed for hurling feces at federal agents investigating a diploma mill operation is in trouble again - this time accused of biting three people after escaping from its owner’s south [...]
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Who’s your daddy?
2008-03-11 13:24:09
More proof that we can’t allow the pro-monkey agenda to succeed. Here is a story of wild sex, bastard children and unknown paternity. From The Mosman Daily:
Mum Shiba delivered her yet unnamed baby daughter on Wednesday last week about 1.30pm, surrounded by family and watchful zoo vet staff.
The 1.5kg infant, who according to staff is [...]
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You’re gibbon me a headache!
2008-03-10 14:04:46
We made it through the 1st round at the International Blog Cup! Please keep voting for us in the 2nd round. You can vote for Punkeys once per day all this week! Back to our regularly schedule attack on punkeys:Â
Just another in a long list of reasons why you shouldn’t have a pet monkey. From the Sun:
Meet [...]
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A Tale of Two Continents
2008-03-07 14:40:33
Punkeys are getting too much help in the propaganda department. Apparently PG Tips is sponsoring a movie “A Tale of Two Continents“. And the star is a monkey! Look at production values!!
We’ve got a slick logo:
 And now a trailer:
The world is slowly slipping into the punkeys creepy little hands.
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Monkey Master of Disguise!
2008-03-06 14:15:45
The Punkeys have upped the ante. Apparently this ape has shed all its hair in an attempt to look more human and enter our society undetected. From the St. Louis Zoo:
Who is Cinder?
Cinder was an unexpected baby. Her mother, Mollie, and father, Smoke, were brought to the Saint Louis Zoo to become foster parents to [...]
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More Monkey Monets
2008-03-05 14:51:19
Apparently, art making monkeys are in vogue. First Seattle did it, now the Atlanta based Ape Conservation Effort is having an Art Auction tomorrow.
Look, just because apes paint like artists, eat like artists and smell like artists, doesn’t mean they’re artists!! And when they say Business Casual, do the apes have to dress up like [...]
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Once bitten, twice shy, three times and it’s an attack!!
2008-03-04 14:06:14
Seems the great northwest isn’t immune to Punkey trouble. From Spokane (Occupied Territory), Washington’s KXLY.com:
There was no monkeying around on the South Hill on Friday, after Spokane animal control officers responded to an unusual call for help. A macaque monkey, native to Africa and Asia, escaped its owner’s home, biting three neighbors.
“That is something you [...]
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Monkey Marriage Madness
2008-03-03 14:38:03
Please take a moment to vote for us at this month’s International Blog Cup. As well as the Blogger Choice Awards. We appreciate all the votes we have and any we get! But on to the issue at hand:Â
This silliness needs to stop! The Punkey agenda to overthrow humans from the top of the food chain is [...]
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Desperate Housewife
2008-02-20 14:03:38
Another incident of Punkeys attacking innocent housewives. From the Times of India:
LUCKNOW(Occupied Territory): In a freak incident, monkey menace on Gomati barrage surfaced with a totally new dimension on Wednesday morning giving a housewife a very close shave with death.
Freak incident? Even when exposing the monkey menace, these poor saps at the Times refuse to [...]
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Ape Genius?
2008-02-19 14:33:48
The propaganda keeps piling up. Now they’re saying apes are geniuses!
Tonight, the NOVA is presenting “Ape Genius” at 8pm EST. They’re going to show exactly how advanced these Punkeys have gotten, how clever they are and how much in danger we are in being taken over!
Just look at this:
If this isn’t a wake-up call, then [...]
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Genius
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Punkey Prevention Product
2008-02-18 14:15:24
Finally, capitalism is trying to curb the Punkey crime rate. Someone finally came along and invented “the Baboon Watch“. From Kormorant:
The ‘Baboon watch,’ a new device recently developed by South African inventor Doug Reid may solve many residents’ headaches caused by monkeys.
“The device is a must for all homeowners who live in areas where baboons [...]
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Prevention
Product
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Jackson Pollack or Just a Primate?
2008-02-15 14:49:37
Humans have always been able to separate themselves from apes and primates due to several factors. Well take art and culture off the table! From United Press International:
Seattle’s Woodland Park Zoo is using eBay to sell paintings made by a rare artist — a 39-year-old orangutan.
One painting created by the zoo’s male primate, Towan, had [...]
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Conan the Chimp-barian
2008-02-14 14:33:48
“Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.” – Conan
This Conan
Not this Conan:
Seems even chimps need a leader. From Science Daily:
While hunting among chimpanzees is a group effort, key males, known as “impact hunters” are highly influential within the group. They are more likely to initiate a hunt, [...]
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I was chimped!
2008-02-13 14:27:05
Never trade with a monkey. They’ll screw you every time. Don’t believe me? Look at what this article at LiveScience has to say on the subject:
Chimps don’t like bartering things, even when they’re trading up.
This new finding could shed light on the mysterious origins of bartering in humans, scientists say.
Researchers investigated the circumstances under which [...]
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Babbling Baboons
2008-02-12 14:40:46
Looks like we’ll have to get more advanced in our communications. These Punkeys are getting better at communications! From New Scientist:
Macaques may just seem to be indulging in monkey banter, but they can distinguish one another’s voices in much the same way that humans do, suggests a new study.
In the human brain, the “voice region” [...]
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Gibbon a Second Chance at Life
2008-02-11 14:41:14
Seems the Punkeys are multiplying faster than before. From The Telegraph:
The population of the world’s rarest ape has doubled after a new survey. There are now thought to be 110 Cao Vit gibbons in forests on the China-Vietnam border.
Until the latest survey by Fauna and Flora International (FFI) there were thought to be only 50 [...]
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Life
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Non Mangiamo, Monkeys!!
2008-02-07 14:28:48
After yesterday’s post titled “Mangiamo, Monkeys!!” I was compelled to post this from TODAYOnline:
NParks, or the National Parks Board, is doubling its composition fine on those who feed wild monkeys in parks and nature reserves to $500, effective today. It hopes the higher fine will deter what it calls a “growing minority” that still persists [...]
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Mangiamo, Monkeys!!
2008-02-06 14:04:41
If chimpanzees are our closest cousins, why didn’t they evolve like we did? German anthropologists say it’s the way we eat. From Wired:
In a study published yesterday in Public Library of Science ONE, a team of Max Planck Institute researchers compared gene expression in three groups of mice — one given a cafeteria-style human diet, [...]
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Monkeys are a Threat to National Security!
2008-02-05 14:04:28
Thankfully, not ours. Not yet, anyway. But in Hampi (Occupied Territory) they are. From the Times of India:
The administration here is terrified of monkeys. The reason is officials fear that these simians may pose a security threat during President Pratibha Patil’s visit here on Sunday. The only way out they see is ‘operation evacuation’.
As the President’s [...]
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National
Security
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Super Bowl Hangover
2008-02-04 16:41:40
Everyone at Punkeys is still in a daze after last nights loss in the Super Bowl.
This pic says it all:
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Super Bowl
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New monkey, same as the old monkey
2008-02-01 14:41:17
They found a new species of monkey. The Cacajao ayresii. Named caca due to its efficient poo throwing abilities no doubt. From NewScientist:
He does have that “Holy crap! They found me!” look to him.
If this monkey looks bewildered, it could be because of the excitement it has generated among biologists. A uacari monkey living in [...]
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Monkey
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Monkey Check
2008-01-31 14:31:57
From the Geelong Advertiser:
Nobody likes needles, least of all monkeys…
No. They don’t shoot heroin, they smoke dope!
…which is why Werribee Zoo opt for sedation when it’s time for the tricky business of giving the creatures medical checks.
Eleven of the zoo’s vervet monkeys were sedated so the zoo’s vets could carry out routine health checks on [...]
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Check
Monkey
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The Perfect Monkey?
2008-01-30 14:19:29
The monkey population is breeding the perfect monkeys. In fact, Live Science has picked the Macaque monkey as the best multipurpose monkey. And as our stories often highlight, the Macaque monkeys cause the most problems.
From Live Science:
A macaque is a really good, general purpose, sort of monkey.
Macaques are also the monkeys that people know the [...]
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Monkey
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Are you smarter than a British accountant?
2008-01-29 14:50:39
If you’re a chimp…the answer is yes. Some sad news from the Daily Mail:
When scientists found out that chimps had better memories than students, there were unkind comments about the caliber of the human competition they faced.
But now an ape has gone one better, trouncing British memory champion Ben Pridmore.
Ayumu, a seven-year-old male brought up [...]
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British
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