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Punkeys
Punkeys is a site dedicated to exposing the true threat monkeys and all simians pose to humans, bringing proof of their plotting to the public and to also expose the \
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Mysterious Monkey Men
2008-01-28 14:54:17
Here’s an odd snippet that probably went under the radar. It fits with Friday’s posting about aliens and monkeys. From Pattaya City News:
Crazy Monkey injures two students in Naklua.
A bizarre incident now from Soi Sukumvit 43 in Naklua. Sawang Boriboon Rescue Workers were called to house number 390/110 on Thursday Afternoon after reports were received of [...]
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Monkey
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The TRUTH about Aliens on Earth!
2008-01-25 14:40:00
I have found proof that the alien encounters people have been experiencing for centuries is really a primate psychological plot to cause the downfall of humanity! Ever wonder why all the aliens have the same likeness. Whitish gray with big black eyes? Look at the evidence I stumbled upon at the Herald Sun website!
       Primate? or Predator?
[...]
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Aliens
Earth
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Marlboro Monkey
2008-01-24 14:20:01
More news of punkeys picking up bad habits. From Thaindian News:
Keepers of a zoo in China are trying really hard to make a resident chimpanzee quit smoking.
Philly got addicted to the habit months earlier by picking up cigarette butts discarded by visitors in Zhengzhou, Henan province.
The chimp fell prey to the smokes and would squeal [...]
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Monkey
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Lazy, good-for-nothing Punkeys!
2008-01-23 14:36:22
Looks like the writer’s strike isn’t affecting this chimp in China. From ChinaDaily.com:
Concerned that a chimp in a zoo in Qingdao, Shandong Province, was getting lonely, zookeepers installed a TV set last September to keep the animal occupied.
To their surprise, the chimp became addicted to TV programs and would sit in front of the TV [...]
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Raisin heck!
2008-01-22 14:58:13
It’s good to see some old fashion parental discipline happening from time to time. From the Atlanta Journal Constitution:
Here’s a lesson, kids: Don’t mess with the old man’s raisins.
Kazi, one of Zoo Atlanta’s twin gorillas, decided to snatch some of dad Taz’s raisins last week. That little act of insurrection earned the 2-year-old a trip [...]
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Raisin
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Kim Jong Il or King Kong Ill??
2008-01-21 14:36:29
NBC news did a piece about helper monkeys. This story about Helping Hands (something we blogged about on day 1! Thanks for catching up Lester Holt) is more pro-primate propoganda if you ask me.
My only question is: What’s with the hairdo on the monkey? It’s a little too Kim Jong Il for my tastes.
Â
People with [...]
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Slander away!!
2008-01-18 18:49:02
Some good news for us here at punkeys.com. Monkeys and apes can’t sue!! That means we can feel free to write about the true “pro-primate agenda” without worrying about being taken to court. A loyal reader submitted this from the Houston Chronicle:
A Texas appeals court has affirmed a lower court decision that nine chimpanzees and [...]
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Mud munching monkeys!
2008-01-17 14:24:01
We went to our neighbor to the north for this article about why monkeys eat mud. No, really. People research this kind of crap. From the CBC.ca:
Eating dirt helps chimps fight off malaria, researchers from the Muséum National d’Histoire Naturelle in Paris reported Wednesday.
Sabrina Krief and her colleagues had observed chimps eating soil (geophagy), a [...]
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Mysterious Medieval Monkey Meetings?
2008-01-16 14:32:03
Finally the word is slowly getting out that maybe these punkeys (punk-monkeys) need to be dealt with. As this article at the Telegraph explains, to be a good chimp, you need to have good role models:
Historically, scientists believed that differences in behavior between communities of chimpanzees were due to variations in genetics.
More recently, there has [...]
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Medieval
Monkey
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A monkey with a monkey on its back
2008-01-15 14:50:23
Seems like some monkeys like the old wacky tobaccy. From News of the World:
A dope-smoking monkey that was once at the centre of a drugs raid is in need of a new home.
The rare Rhesus Macaque primate, whose pet name is Nobby, was caught up a police swoop in 1997 after being photographed puffing on [...]
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Monkey
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It’s a jungle in here
2008-01-14 15:03:52
Today’s post is a joint venture from The Power of Negative Blogging.
Ever thought the people in your office were no better than a bunch of monkeys in ties? Well there just might be some truth to that. From the Daily Mail:
Anyone losing out to the big beasts in a bout of office politics might start [...]
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Jungle
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Is this the future?
2008-01-11 14:31:22
If these punkeys are not stopped, this picture could be a disturbing fantasy turned into horrific reality!
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Future
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Big Ole Mama’s Boys!
2008-01-10 14:34:45
Like a lot of punkeys, it comes as no surprise the male chimps are big babies. The Telegraph explains:
They hunt, jockey for high status and show form alliances to wage wars on rival groups.
But adult male chimpanzees are really mummy’s boys who do not like to stray far from home when they are alone, according [...]
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Birds do, bees do it, even monkeys in the trees do it!
2008-01-09 14:46:12
Just how old is the world’s oldest profession? It may be of evolutionary proportions! From Time:
Selling sex is said to be humankind’s oldest profession but it may have deep evolutionary roots, according to a study into our primate cousins which found that male macaques pay for intercourse by using grooming as a currency.
Michael Gumert of [...]
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Birds
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Holla, Holla!!
2008-01-08 14:32:43
After reading this article at Live Science, I’m starting to think that scientists are perverts with too much time on their hands:
Female monkeys may shout during sex to help their male partners climax, research now reveals.
To investigate the purpose behind these calls, scientists at the German Primate Center in Göttingen focused on Barbary macaques for [...]
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Don’t Tase my boys, bro!
2008-01-07 14:27:49
Apparently, someone in India is a big Bob Barker fan and has taken up his cause.
Submitted by a loyal reader, via the Houston Chronicle:
A northern Indian state said today it planned to use unemployed youths to sterilize monkeys to try to combat aggressive primates who have been raiding farms.
Indian authorities have struggled in recent years [...]
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Bad monkeys, bad monkeys – whatcha gonna do?
2008-01-04 14:26:16
New Delhi (Occupied Territory) has a new sheriff in town. That man - Ramal Lala.
From CNN.com (video):
Monkey handler Ramal Lala strolls along New Delhi’s streets, a leash on his monkey named Mungle. The local government has hired the two to chase down thousands of smaller monkeys known to roam this mega-city of 13 million people, hopping [...]
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Punkey-napped!
2008-01-03 14:05:30
Another criminal caught in an Occupied Territory. From the Times of India:
PUNE - The residents of Padvi village, about 78 km away from here, can breathe a sigh of relief now. A ‘monkey’ threat to their kids has come to an end thanks to employees of the animal orphanage in the Rajiv Gandhi zoological park [...]
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Primates Presence in Politics
2008-01-02 14:12:46
The punky menace is coming to light each day. It’s finally crept into politics in the Occupied Territory of Himachal Pradesh. From theCheers.org:
The monkey menace in Himachal Pradesh has become a major poll plank with the contesting parties promising to make an all round effort to overcome the ‘threats’ posed by simians.
The farmers, whose crops [...]
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Politics
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Punkeys: How do they get this way?
2007-12-31 14:57:05
I ran across an article on what becomes of monkeys and exotic animals when their owners are no longer in the picture. From globeandmail.com:
Mike Davies, one of the caregivers, points to Mr. Jenkins, a black-handed spider monkey who swings with incredible ease - grace, even - in the confines of his cage. But don’t get [...] ...
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Ally or Enemy?
2007-12-27 14:00:21
Not sure if this is a case of revenge or an example of how monkeys are using humans to help them escape. From KSHB-TV in Kansas City, MO:
A woman accused of kidnapping three monkeys from a Jackson County monkey sanctuary faces a judge Tuesday morning and there’s still no word on whether the monkeys are [...] ...
Enemy
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Monkey Portraits*
2007-12-26 13:55:54
Was sent this peice of primate propaganda for christmas.
Apparently this simian sympatizer, Jill Greenberg, has done an entire collection of monkey portraits* And the worse thing about them…even we here at Punkeys think they’re awesome. This is obviously a coup for the monkeys when they can have this type of PR machine working for them!
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Monkey
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An Actual Monkey Business
2007-12-24 14:52:56
This story highlights a devious subtle plot by monkeys to make us dependant on them for income, thus insuring their survival and allowing them to learn from us so they can find our weaknesses, only to exploit them at a later time. Actually it’s quite genius on their parts, making that much more scary! From [...] ...
Business
Monkey
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Kung-fu Monkey Master!
2007-12-21 19:07:30
This is another bad idea:
Soon, legions of ninja monkeys will be kicking our trans-fat engorged asses. Mark my words! ...
Monkey
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Cyborg Monkeys!!!
2007-12-20 19:06:53
This disturbing video of monkeys with a robot arm. It’s under the guise of “research” but somehow these monkeys have tricked these scientist to help create super-cyborg-simians!! ...
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Monkey see, monkey want too.
2007-12-19 14:30:15
Can monkeys be jealous? They want to take over the world so I’m going to say a profound “YES!”. But let this article from the Harvard Crimson (oooh Ivy league!) explain:
Steven Pinker, Jane Goodall and Richard Wrangham sit on the tenth floor of William James Hall munching on Froot Loops. They shriek in unison whenever [...] ...
Monkey
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Puerto Rican Exiles
2007-12-18 16:01:23
So Puerto Rico (Occupied Territory) is having some issues with some escaped mutant monkeys. Or at least that’s what it sounds like reading this article at the Orlando Sentinel:
Puerto Rico officials have a new plan to solve their monkey problem: export them to Central Florida.
About 30 patas monkeys have been shipped to the Florida International [...] ...
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