Bee\'s Musings Just everyday happenings of an everday chick.

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I find your desire to kill ME extremely annoying.
2008-05-15 05:31:03
I think Andy is trying to kill me!!!Are you done clapping? No? Okay, I'll give you a couple more minutes... ... ...Done? Okay. Let's move on shall we?I really do think he's trying to kill me!Here was my first clue:Andy:Bee, I think I'm going to try changing the oil in you car myself.Bee:Why? Jiffy Lube* always does a great job!Andy:Don't worry, it's just oil.Bee: [a frown creasing my smooth brow]'Kay.THEN!! CLUE #2Andy:Bee, I might as well rotate your tires too. All I have to do is move the front ones to the back, back ones to the front.Bee:Uhmmm... I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, what if you miss a couple of lug nuts? You might send my car spinning into the river. When I hit a pothole. While I'm doin' 65 in a 45.Andy:Nah, you'll be okay. The river isn't so deep around that area.Bee: [GENUINE FEAR IN MY EYES]Can you ask my brother to help you?CLUE NUMERO TRES!Andy:I was thinking I should try changing your brakes too.Bee: [running to hide my car keys]No! No no no. Now you've g ...

Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance...
2008-05-14 18:20:01
I don't know if you're aware but everybody in my immediate family is born in October. (If you didn't know, now you do and you can file it in the Bee Trivia notebook you have for when I do sell my game.)My 3 brothers, my sister and my Andy where all born in the same month..It's really hard to get them birthday gifts since Christmas is so close and... well, I'm cheap. No, I'm not cheap. I just don't like spending money on anyone other than myself. I deserve it, you know? .Anyway..This year, I will buy them something special. I found the perfect gift for all 5 of them. My macho brothers, my sensitive hubby, my wacky sister, they will all love their gift!.I found out..That. ...New Kids On The Block will be in Chicago on October 4th!!!All five of them will be holding hands, singing along to 'Step by Step', 'Hangin' Tough', 'You got it (The Right Stuff)' and of course Jordan Knight's high pitched 'I'll be loving you (forever)'(and by all 5, I meant my family but I'm sure NKOTB will hold hand ...

It ain't easy being cheesy!
2008-05-13 05:10:23
So...On Saturday Andy and I went to my in-laws campground to hang out with them for a little bit and celebrate Mother's Day.While we were chillin', talking about camper stuff, The Cheeto Story came up in the conversation.Both Andy and I disagree as to who is at fault so I told my beloved hubba-bubba I would post the story and let you, MY friends decide.Pull up a chair, sofa or toilet and let me take you back to November 1998, 3 days before Thanksgiving. (I was thin back then) We had only been dating for about 5 months and I was going to meet him at his house after work where he was going to make me a sandwich and then we were going to play pool in his parent's basement.I arrived at his house and he lightly toasted the bread for my sandwich, put some ham and Munster cheese on it with extra mustard. MMMM.Young thin Bee:Are you gonna have one?Andy:No, I'm not hungry. I'll just have a bag of chips.[opens the cabinet, looks in the variety box of chips and swears]What the hell! All that's le ...

The joys of adult childhood.
2008-05-12 04:08:38
Further proof that:A) Andy and I should never be in charge of childrenB) We are way way coolC) We cannot be left unsupervisedHopefully, when my mom comes back, our house will still be in one piece. Let me tell ya' why.We had some left over branches from last year that we decided to burn. We finished our gardening duties and settled in for a nice little bonfire. The majority of the branches were pine so we couldn't burn 'em in our indoor fireplace because of the butaniumfosoforitisnium in pine. Okay, I don't know what the chemical is called but they strongly suggest you never ever burn pine in your fireplace because it may cause your house to explode. For those of you who might not know, pine is HIGHLY combustible. That flame was 7 feet high with just a couple of branches MEER INCHES FROM OUR GINORMOUS PINE TREE!Don't worry, we survived. Sort of.Then this awesome convo happened:Andy:Stop harassing me or I'll throw your decorative wicker ball in the fire.Bee:Oh please! You won't do it!An ...

I am going to have X-Ray screens following me wherever I go so people can see the inner, skinny, Bee.
2008-05-09 19:55:57
Soooooooo...I've been having shoulder pain the last couple of months. Being the complete bad ass I am, I kept thinking pain shmain! I blamed the Teaspoon/Tablespoon position or ANDY for not letting me sleep in the comfort I deserve by restricting my movements.I finally couldn't stand it anymore. The pain felt as if gorillas were playing tug of war with my arm. Yeah, it was THAT BAD! I let The Bats talk me into making an appointment with the older semi-retired Orthopaedist in our office.First he ordered the X-Rays and these were the very important questions I asked while in the darkroom with Scarecrow:.*Does the X-Ray machine make me look fat? *Will this thing cook my eggs?*Can you see my eggs?*Do they look like colorful Easter eggs?*Can you see if my inner child was eaten by my inner bitch giving birth to the demi-goddess I am now?*What part of that didn't you understand?*Can you see the remnants of what I ate yesterday?*Can you tell if I have to go to the bathroom?*So what if you're j ...

I'll keel ewe!
2008-05-08 05:05:28
On my shit list for comments on yesterday's post:.Alice, Brian, Harris, and jean knee. .Consider yourselves smacked upside the head..On my lovey dovey list: Humor-Blogs .Stay tuned for news on the amputation of my left arm that will determine if I live or die. .P.S.Remember I like to exaggerate/over dramatize/whine. ...

Is that bird mocking me??? I'll clip its pecker!
2008-05-06 05:16:17
Hope you enjoyed your Cinco, I know I did (Do you see that Crazy Ez? THAT IS A CORONA!).So…I’m trying something new where I’m always on time for work. I know what you're thinking "What? Shouldn't you be at work on time?" For which I answer "You live your life your way, THE UNFUN WAY and I'll live my life my way, THE COOL GIRLS ARE NEVER ON TIME way'So far, out of the 4 days I’ve attempted this drastic change to my natural habit of always being late, I’m 0 for 4.I get up reasonably early at 6:40. I start at 8 and it takes me 5 minutes to get to work. How can this be such an impossibility for me?? I should be able to shower, change, lacquer my face, style my hair, take the dogs out, grab my lunch, bring the dogs inside and leave! I know there are working moms out there that have to do way more than that and manage to be at work on time! What is my malfunction??I really want to know!Don’t tell me to wake up at an ungodly hour like 6:15 or something foolish because I’ve trie ...

I need to buy myself a magnetic suit.
2008-05-05 21:50:37
The hubs and I went to see Iron Man.I loved it!I'm not a professional movie reviewer so don't get all pissy with me if you saw/see it and didn't/don't like it.I've been a fan of Robert Downey Jr. since forever and always hoped he'd get his acting life back on the right track. He has a way of delivering lines with such a dry sense of humor... and looks cute doing it.Being married to a comic book gee- uh... hmmm... (shaking my head around trying to dislodge the right word... oh!) comic book EXPERT, I've been lucky enough to hear all about every comic book character ever invented. He made me watch the Captain America & The Avengers animated movie where I first *met* Tony Stark/Iron Man and when I saw the previews for the movie, I was super excited they picked RDJ.I hope they make a sequel since even Gwyneth Paltrow (not a fan) was okay.I wonder if this guy was their first choice but he had a prior commitment. Too bad cuz he is so hot!One of the previews we saw was another comic book m ...

The freakin' umbilical cord doesn't reach that far!
2008-05-03 15:28:43
Have I ever bragged about the fact that my mom lives downstairs from us and cooks us dinner every weeknight?Have I ever bragged about the fact that she's an awesome cook and makes the most delicious food that has no equal??Have I ever bragged about the fact that she is THE coolest mom? .Probably not because I'm not much of a bragger....ANYWAY- SHE'S LEAVING ME FOR 2 MONTHS!.Something about spending time with her parents while my sister is off of work or something selfish like that..Now I'm going to have to hone my cooking talents so I can feed my burly man. After all, I read somewhere that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (I disagree since you'd have miles of intestines to go through...) so I'm gonna try my hardest to make him happy.Luckily, my cookbook has a wide variety of yummy food to chose from:And some yummy sides...Yup! When my momma comes home we'll bloated and pudgy! (ER)Are you judging me?? I think it's because you're jealous that my mom is BETTER than your mom ...

It is my duty as a woman to inform others about new cool gadgets that bring such pleasure!
2008-05-01 05:44:17
MOTHER OF ALL THE GUACAMOLE!!!! LOOK AT WHAT I JUST FOUND!! It's called a Shoe Wheel and makes your shoes look so pretty as they twirl around on their own ferris wheel!Currently I have all my shoes in their original boxes on a 10 tiered shelving unit and it’s a pain in the ass to keep pulling boxes out and then putting the shoes back in. Instead, I exercise my laziness and put them on this here bench until I have time to rearrange them.I can’t leave them on the floor because Tazz likes to mark ‘em as his own. And by mark ‘em I DO mean pee on them the little bastard!Anyway, maybe I can get my super awesome hubby to buy TWO for me as an early early early birthday present. Hmmmm??? It would be for both of us really since he hates it when I leave my shoes on stools, benches and chairs. Let's not talk about the time he sat on a 4 inch stiletto...Speaking of Super Husbands, Andy wants to shave off his facial hair!! Porque???The good news is that he agreed to do a Tell-All Post! His o ...

If you ask it, he might answer...
2008-05-01 04:00:49
My desert garden terrariumOkay, I wasn't going to post today because I seem to be leaking energy thru my eyeballs and feel like shit. I think it's because I spent Monday in the freezing rain trying to save my flowers... where was I? Post, right!.I got this radicus e-mail that I had to share. Unfortunately, the person who sent it to me has not responded on whether I can use their name or not but I'm pulling the trigger on this anyway because I'm impatient like that. I don't like it when people have lives and I'm sitting around waiting for them to squeeze me in. Just thought I should throw that fact out into the universe. Anyway, here's the e-mail."Hi Bee! I stumbled across your blog when I was trying to figure out why my shit was green. Your post on green poop searches made me laugh so I kept coming back and reading your archives. Then it hit me that you were actually talking about me too! That's okay because I still think you're funny!I have a question for you though, would you ever co ...

Aloha! Mahalo! Only 30 more years till retirement!
2008-04-28 20:47:55
The hubs and I went to see:Forgetting Sarah Marshall I recommend you go see this movie since I thought it was hilarious! The crotch shots were totally worth it! I am not going to explain that sentence..Anyway, a few weeks ago, I had a horrible nightmare in which my dream of living in Hawaii went up in smoke because I was dipped in lava and... well, died.After that, I decided maybe Hawaii was not the place to live out my last days on Earth. Maybe I could relocate my fantasy retirement somewhere less combustible.But!This movie was filmed in Hawaii and my fear of melting was quickly replaced with "Screw it! I've gotta die from something why not end up like all the food I enjoy, fried, charred, broiled, seared. There are worse ways to spend your twilight years."In other world shatettering news. .I have decided to stop lining my stomach with the very luxurious Tums since I am single handed-ly putting all the share holders' children thru college. I am now buying the very generic form of anta ...

This seemed carnivorous to me!
2008-04-27 06:19:10
I know I said I wouldn't post but then I saw in the news that Friday was the anniversary of Thriller! I was all "what? how did this momentous day pass me by?" Then I thought "oh yeah! I work in a fuckin bat infested hellhole and it's all I can do to keep my marbles in my head instead of using them to choke people... ::breathe::..."Anyway, they had a Bollywood remake of Thriller that had me laughing so hard the dogs were howling! Curiously, Andy didn't even come to check to see what was going on. Good to know!Normally, I get all my video laughs from The Poke Show but he seems to be MIA. I don't think anybody gave him the memo that said vacations or absences are a big no-no when I need laughs.WITHOUT FURTHER ADO! Indian Thriller: ...

Crackers Ice Boobalicious Gnomes
2008-04-24 05:08:29
Okay! Enough crabbiness!This post is going to be about love! One of the bats brought these delightfully delicious crackers and I fell head over heels in love! Do you see the heart? That means it loves me and wants to take me home to meet momma Triscuit!▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬In other news.Crazy Ez, my sister in law, is one of the finalist at Diesel's caption contest. VOTE FOR HER IF YOU THINK HER CAPTION IS FUNNY! I'm not trying to force you because you are all add-ults. I mean, if you can pick your own socks/underwear, I'm sure you can decided on your own what's funny or not. Beware though because that Stushie dude is a finalist again so cover your tracks so he doesn't know I mentioned the contest. Shhhhhh.▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬♫‼All right stop! Collaborate and listen! Ice is back with a brand new invention!♫‼In last new ...

♫ ♥ ♪ What a man what a man what a mighty mighty good man! ♪ ♥ ♫
2008-04-23 05:07:36
What the hell?Andy and I were watching South Park on Comedy Central. A commercial for Girls Gone Wild comes on.3 minutes later, the freakin' commercial is still on and steam is coming out of my ears since Andy's gaze has not left the screen where SKANKY HALF NAKED BITCHES ARE FLASHING THEIR BOOBS! (granted they're nubbins are being covered by a postage stamp sized blur)Then! Bee [shocked]:Did they just say [::whisper::] titties on basic cable television?????Andy:I'm not sure, let's find out.WHAT DOES HE DO? HE REWINDS IT TO THE BEGINING!! What. A. Guy!By the way, they said CITIES.Lights over Phoenix.That's all I'm sayin'! ...

Damn my delicate skin and sweet blood!
2008-04-21 05:23:47
Normally I bitch about Mondays because it's the day I have to go back to work. Now I'm bitching about it because it's THE DAY I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK!Okay, yeah, I guess there isn't anything different.I have some news for you. News that will shock you to your very apple core! I.AmNotAs young as I was last year!!I'm not!Last year, when I was cleaning out my garden and planting, it took me until about mid June to feel too tired to close my eyes. You know, back when I was THIRTY-FOUR??Now, after just one weekend, I'm sunburned (sunburnt?) and achy breaky but... I'm loving every minute of it!My local home improvement store didn't have all the flowers I wanted (which made Andy's wallet happy) so I still have allot to do but so far, I'm happy.We also had our first customer in our bird bath. Usually there's a line that forms waiting to use the mosaic hot tub. Weirdly, they wait for one to exit before another one goes in, modesty amongst birds?Natalia is going to take after her aunt, she thi ...

Dashing through the snow...
2008-04-20 05:23:30
Do you realize it's April TWENTYETH??? Next thing you know we'll be singing Christmas Jingles!So... I started my gardening. It's been therapeutic but exhausting! My brain is still going thru some shit. Hopefully this ugly dude will fix the screws by Monday. ...

Under going maintenance of the...
2008-04-19 05:21:54
Needed so I don't end up looking like a homeless Olivia Newton John.My imagination is trying to make me believe there was an Earthquake Friday morning (while I was dreaming about flowers) which is impossible because I know for a fact I moved from California in 1990. ...

I took a Pol and named him my husbandy!
2008-04-16 05:43:46
-Day 106-It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.- Friedrich Nietzsche .So… today is the anniversary of the day Andy and I committed ourselves to this loony existence. You'll be surprised to learn we did so willingly, sober and on purpose!We normally don’t celebrate it because our love for each other is a daily celebration filled with loud expletives, vase throwing, and yes, sometimes even dog feces.To my surprise, my knight in electrical armor, asked me if I wanted to go out to a fancy schmancy dinner. I told him it hurt my nose hairs to spend money on expensive food so I suggested the following places:.KFC: Meal for 2- $10 + taxIf we order the 3pc (Thigh, Leg, Breast) extra biscuit (giving us a total of 2), 2 sides which would be potato wedges for me mashed for him and we share a soda. Extra Crispy please! .Wendy’s Meal for 2- $7 + tax2-$1 bacon burgers2-$1 fries2-$1 frostys1-$1 bowl of chili Plus some free heartburn..For more expensive f ...

I once was lost but now I’m at Target.
2008-04-15 05:36:42
-Day 105-You know, I sometimes wonder what posses parents to bring their untrained offspring with them everywhere they go.Stop. No need to send me hate mail. I know YOUR kids are angels and YOU’RE the perfect parent blah blah blah…I went to Target to get some of my essentials, stuff that keeps my hair radicus and my skin blemish free and glowing.There I am, minding my own business, trying to decide between -gel extra strength antiperspirant- or -no stain solid antiperspirant- (always go with the gel, that way you don't have the problem of half the deodorant breaking out of the container after a brisk swipe of the pits), when all of a sudden! Two little kids run by me nearly toppling me over! Okay, not so much toppling since my center of gravity is so low to the ground (my butt) but I did spin around cartoon style and I forgot what aisle I was standing in.The little devils then started yelling ‘Mom! Where are you??’ “MOM!!’ ‘DAD!!!’ They took a turn at the end of the ais ...

Dearly departed...
2008-04-14 05:17:38
-Day 104-You know what I learned this weekend? That I can't trust you guys! You told me the wedding would suck and I'd cry all night while hiding under the table! You lied to me! Here I trusted you and instead you abused our friendship and exploited my anti-social fears.You should be ashamed of yourselves!What? You thought I'd take the blame for building up the dreaded wedding and then actually enjoying it? Then you don't know me very well!.It began shaky when Andy introduced me to his coworker:"Bee this is the other Andy, this is my wife"I shook his hand and said "Wow! I bet it's not annoying to keep getting called 'the other Andy'!"SILENCE! No, not silence, I could hear crickets chirping..Hey man, if I hit a nerve, say so! man up and tell people you don't like being in my Andy's shadow! (everybody was calling him 'the other Andy').Luckily, my ego is such that I just shrugged my shoulders and moved on to spread my foot-in-the-mouthness elsewhere.Anyway, the food was excellent (I threw ...

Rob Jim French Fries Birds Asshat Wedding. Not in that order.
2008-04-12 05:38:26
-Day 102.-Is it me or do Vanilla Ice and Jim Carrey look like they could be brothers?Rob Vanilla Winkley Ice was arrested but... he looks extremely happy about it. I used to have such a crush on him! I had a great day on Friday! I did very little real work, nobody pestered me... HEAVEN!I cleaned out my folders, both virtual and real worldly, shredded incriminating evidence, sent love letters to myself and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember.I was in such a relaxed happy state of mind, not even losing the Caption Contest at Diesel's, (I came in second thanks to all my reversible psycholibis) made me cranky. You know what the great thing about that was? I now show up on Technorati THREE times on King Diesel's blog. Yup! I am on a sweet, chocolaty high!So ummm, yeah, you'll have to settle for another installment of my journey of self discovery- knowing more about me than you needed to.Actually you are on a journey of discovery along with me so what you learn I just learned, capisce??I ...

I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Please kiss my ass! ... I said please!
2008-04-10 05:27:26
DAY ONE HUNDRED!!!! -Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you. But don't take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever.- Michael CorleoneSo...You know how I asked you guys SEMI-nicely to go to Diesel's and vote for me? Well, I didn't mean to be pushy. (much).You guys know I have nothing going for me other than this blog right?I mean I have nothing to look forward to... well other than my sister being due to deliver another little miracle and planning the baby shower.:Isn't she a cutie?? Ha ha, you can't call this a mommy blog cuz there have been no bats in my belfry. No Eggs in my basket.Other than that there's no other momentous occasion looming... Hmm, except my 7th anniversary on the 16th of this month. Anyway, back to the the lobbying for votes. I haven't participated much because I could never come up with anything I THOUHT was funny. Then Diesel posted a picture of one of my favorite movies. A classic! I quote it ad nauseum much to the chagrin of one Andy Husband. ...

Dontcha wish your wife was crazy like me? Dontcha?
2008-04-09 15:36:34
-DAY 99.-So... as the dutiful, loving, submissive wife I am, I bought Andy his headphones. You all know how much I love him right? I mean, if I ever need someone to watch my back in a dark alley... well, that would be my sister Nancy (even while pregnant). If I ever need someone to guard my body (as in BODYGUARD)... uh, that would be one of the brothers or all three. My Andy? He uh... well he's a cutie and looks pretty when he smiles! Anyway, the first thing I thought of was The Great Gazoo: Sorry babe!These headphones are supposed to be super high tech and make waffles on Saturdays. .Here is my question, if they're so damn cooliyo, WHY CAN I HEAR THE OTHER TURKEYS HE'S TALKING TO?? I hear them clearly!! By the way, that bitch I hear on the other end? She better know not to make googlie voices at him cuz I'll hunt her down and spear her like the troll she is! .Sorry, I got distracted. Where was I? Oh yeah. he can also hear me!.There I was, doing my evening ritual of swearing up a storm ...

A new spin on blaming the dog.
2008-04-06 06:39:23
-Day 96-Quick one today. Andy is saving his "allowance" to buy a new set (pair?) of headphones. Turns out his are broken but we cannot agree on who is the culprit. I leave it up to you, the mostest smartest of readers, to decide.Let me set the scene for you.Bee, walks in to the kitchen after a long hard day at work. Andy stomps out of his dungeon ready for a battle.Andy:Your fucken' dog broke my headphones! [my fucken' dog is Tazz the Destroyer]Bee:What? How? [concerned, thinking Tazz shredded them or used them as a trampoline]Andy:My brother was petting him then he went nuts and tried to attack us![Up until now, I'm not surprised because Tazz is INSANE]Andy:Then I had to throw my headphones at him so he'd stop! I missed and they landed on the floor!Bee:... [trying to keep a straight face since he's obviously FURIOUS!] Uh... you know, that really wouldn't be Tazz's fault.Andy:WHAT!? WHAT?! Are you kidding me? Are you freakin' kidding me right now???Bee:The way I see it, you, AS THE HUM ...

Almost 7 years and we could be unhappier!♥
2008-04-04 18:39:59
-Day 94.- Quote of the 'effing day! Katie from the Real World Road Rules (yeah I still watch it and I'll probably be watching it when I'm in my 80s, so?) "If I'm gonna talk shit about you? I like to see the reaction on your fucken face when I say it!" That had me in stitches! Especially because I had just told Milton something along those lines after our morning meeting regarding all the office back stabbing!.I realized today that my anniversary is in 12 days! TWELVE!!The hubs and I will have been married for seven long years..I think our relationship is doing okay. We have our crazy blow out fights where I call him a brain donor and he calls me a vicious harpie but then we take those insults and turn them into compliments and then kiss and make up. So alls good.. .I'm always amused when people who've been married longer (or even those who've been married a shorter time than we have) give us advice. I think they forget that I am nothing like them. Andy also dances to the tune of his ow ...

Attack of the gray haired blood suckers... BOO!
2008-04-03 19:00:04
-Day 93- Did I scare you? Well that was nothing! I was scared to within one inch of my awesome life today! ONE INCH! And I have many inches on me so that's saying ALLOT! ::sad sigh::... Anyway, here's my question:Can I file assault charges if a couple of kooky oldies (not my work oldies, OTHER oldies!)(the world is full of 'em.)(some are nice) tried to bully me into donating my precious blood? Don't they know this blood has been with me since I was a wee little mini Bee?? I'm very attached to it! .Plus... I AM TERRIFIED OF NEEDLES! By terrified I mean, my blood runs cold, I start to sweat, shake and speak in tongues. To say it's unpleasant would be the understatement of the century.I walked into the building and a little elderly lady came out of nowhere.."Hi! We're volunteering for Z Sources. We'd like you to donate blood today!".Just. Like That.No "Please", no "How you doin'?". .She didn't even acknowledge the hammer she had just thrown at me. She just kept staring at me with the lips ...

Hump day has arrived
2008-04-02 05:14:53
-Day 92- First, I'd like to say thanks for all the e-mails you sent threatening me if I ever scare you again. (I'm not scaurd!)(much)Ha Ha Ha! I had my fun! I regret closing the comments because some of your vulgar statements were colorful... to say the least!. I would like to answer one question:."uhm did you spell SWAN wrong on purpose?".WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL SAWN!!.Anyway, I hope you had a fun April Fool's Day. Mine wasn't too good, aside from the e-mails I mean..I decided that on my next meeting with OZ, I might ask for my own office. .Currently I share the office with Milton, PD, the copy machine, fax machine and the postage meter thing. .Unfortunately, I sit right next to the copy machine.My desk is the one with the X: .Do you see where the copy machine is?These drawers are where you load paper. This is the box with extra paper. .When people bend over to fill the copy machine THEIR BUTT IS IN MY FACE!. ...

My Sawn Song...
2008-04-01 05:51:36
So....This will be my last post. No more. Done. Caput..Unlike the Dying Swan, I'm not gonna keel over (hopefully) so don't get any bright ideas about inheriting my shoe collection!.We've laughed together, sang together, picked each others outfits (that's where I learned what a jumper was, funny weird British language), we posed in swimsuits together, blamed each other for flus, did Memes, became aware of all Zombie habits-characteristics-and who would fall first, discussed husbands and wives and their weird habits agreeing we were perfect, talked about guys I'd like a free pass for, disagreed on music and movies, I yelled at you just because it made me smile, I pretended to be tall... So many things!.I will even miss my Anonymous hecklers! Oh how I love you Anonymous hecklers with your big words that make me laugh. .You knew the time was coming right? You knew I was losing my mind and turning into a bat?.Oh well, you guys will always be in my thoughts. .Remember to go to Humor-Blogs a ...

Ah! The joys of marriage!
2008-03-31 05:03:45
Picture with permission of All Fantasy Art-Day 90-I have to come clean and tell you guys I'm an evil genius!.Last night, my warden went to bed before I did. If you're new to the crazy dynamics of our relationship, please know this was an unusual occurrence. His normal routine is to harass me until I give up and go to bed in a huff. Usually around 10:30..I thought I'd be a bad ass and stay up really late. Unfortunately, my old bones got tired at about 1:00 am. I got my stiff butt out of my chair and got ready for bed..Andy had already been snoring for a couple of hours so I knew he was in one of his deep people-can-rollerblade-on-his-head sleeps. .My beloved sweet little monkey was taking up the whole bed... AGAIN!I was able to shove lovingly move him to his side of the bed but his arm had a mind of it's own! It was like a crazy reenactment of Evil Dead II, you know, where the hand tries to kill the dude? .I was beginning to get a leetle beet irritated when he said (while still asleep) ...