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Never a Dull Moment
A mom of 10 adopted children with special needs tells it all with gutlevel honesty
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from my parents double wide
2008-06-03 20:19:37
we have arrived. Trip was quiet and uneventful. I am thrilled to have a signal on my iPhone so I can at least check email and blogs. Will keep updating twitter and will blog a few lines but no major entries until 10 tomorrow this time ...
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from my iPhone in a gas station in camp verde
2008-06-03 17:23:46
not sure how much longer I'll have a signal. Trip going well. We are updating twitter often. Remember it is 2 hours earlier than CDT and 3. Earlier than y'all out east. More later ...
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Boarding Now
2008-06-03 10:51:24
Not sure when i will be able to blog again -- maybe not til tomorrow, but you can follow our journey on Twitter. ...
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And Here We Are at the Airport
2008-06-03 09:40:49
I have two hours at the airport. Our gate is perfectly situated -- right across from the Service Center, complete with outlets and across from the bathroom. And I am accompanied by the most delightful and cooperative travelling companions. They are so easy -- quiet, respectful, compliant.Being with them made me realize that we have house full of extroverts. Good grief! In fact, we have 3 of our kids who almost talk incessantly and have very little impulse control.A great contrast to that are these two boys that I am going to spend my week with. They are good conversationalists, but can be quiet for long periods of time. They are consistently appropriate and do nothing to draw attention to themselves. And they can be trusted to sit somewhere without running off.This morning on the shuttle trip, I just sat and thought. Of course, I sent some messages to twitter and read some blogs, but I did a lot of thinking. And when I read Cindy’s blog entry this morning from my IPhone, I r ...
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Bright and Early
2008-06-03 05:57:53
We're up and leaving in a few minutes. It's still before six. We need to be at the shuttle at 6:15.I thought today maybe I'd use Twitter from my phone .... so you may want to follow us here: http://twitter.com/maeflyeAnd I'll blog from the airport as well.Hope everyone's day starts great! ...
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Packing Up the Computer....
2008-06-02 20:52:47
Finished my night walking with Bart ... now I need to pack up the laptop and pack up my suitcase and then head to bed. My kids have done remarkably well tonight ... everyone has been very patient, calm and well behaved. This is so unusual. Usually during a transition everyone acts out consistently, but tonight has been an exception.Thanks to anyone who has sent thoughts and prayers my way today. They have helped! ...
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Today's Paragraph
2008-06-02 20:10:40
Again, if you have input into these funny stories for the book, feel free to comment. Or rewrite the whole thing if you’d like.November 2005Learning English for Ricardo was a challenge because, to be honest, he doesn’t talk, in any language, very much. He is an introvert and really doesn’t care much about communicating. So even 16 months after he moved in with us, he still only spoke a few words, though his receptive language skills were excellent.Bart took Ricardo and Jimmy on a walk through a state park near our home on a cool November evening. They were walking the dog and enjoying the wildlife when Jimmy, then 14 and fascinated with all things related to reproduction, saw two deer mating. He asked Bart, “Are they having sex?” Bart responded factually as Jimmy and Ricardo studied them, not sure how they were able to accomplish such a feat. Bart finally indicated that the male deer probably had to jump.Ricardo asked Bart, in his broken English, “You…. Mom…. Ju ...
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Some Things Are Resolved
2008-06-02 19:59:46
The envelope that I had lost with the receipts in it was in the “out” pile, fully addressed, waiting for that last receipt. You know, when it is exactly where it is supposed to be, I just can’t find it.The phone is still being weird, but since I am the only one who uses it, who cares. I’ll be gone anyway.My mail is still being weird, but I got it to work long enough to get caught up. I am down to only 6 emails in my inbox AND I have posted over 125 kids in the past week or two. Thats a LOT of kids. Hopefully we’ll find homes for a majority of them.The PCA redid her timesheets and I got those faxed.I am nearly done packing my briefcase (I always have to take work with me) and then I will go upstairs and pack my suitcase.I am so used to being online that I may have withdrawals when I am at my parents. I did talk to my mom tonight and there is wireless internet at the library. Tomorrow I will have it at the airport in the morning and maybe in the afternoon for a bit. Oth ...
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How Many Things Can Be Going Wrong in 30 minutes
2008-06-02 16:35:57
I just got back from the store 30 minutes ago. So far, the following things are going wrong:I put an envelope of receipts for our reimbursements for non-recurring expenses somewhere very safe, that I cannot find. I finally found the last receipt I needed and printed the spreadsheet, and now I can’t find the rest of them anywhere. I really wanted to get them mailed before I go.My new PCA filled out her time sheet wrong, so I can’t send time sheets in until she gets back. I wanted to do that right NOW.Something is wrong with the two-line phone and I can’t figure out what it is. It’s driving me nuts. I really wanted it fixed before I left.My usually incredibly reliable .mac email is not working very well. It is not coming into my inbox and I can’t figure it out. I need it to come through to finish up a few things that I needed to get done before I leave.And that’s just 30 minutes. Sigh. I feel like I’m in a small box and everywhere I turn I run into a wall. And t ...
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I Have This Thing for Office Supplies
2008-06-02 12:33:32
Anyone else just LOVE them? I do. I could spend hundreds of dollars on them. Just being at Office Max today made me want to be all organized and efficient and made me wish I had hundreds of dollars to spend on all those cool notebooks and portfolios and pens and .... yeah, I love office supplies.I bought some pens and a new notebook as I am hoping to do some writing and organizing on the plane, and because of my current body size, I can’t have my laptop out on the plane and enjoy using it there.I also bought a little notebook and a special pen for Sadie. I have forgotten to mention it here, but she has a goal to write a book this summer. She wants to write a fiction book about a girl who was adopted out of foster care that is geared toward kids her age. I have encouraged her and we have done some brainstorming and have lots of good ideas. I’m excited for school to be out so she can get started. I’m not sure she knows how much self-discipline writing takes, but I’m hopin ...
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BLAHHHH!
2008-06-02 09:49:25
I am feeling so blah this morning. I’m thinking that blogger was being wierd this morning because I’m missing out on reading some of my favorite blogs. Either that or everyone is swamped. My workout was pathetic, my blood sugars are higher than normal, Kari is too busy to go to Dunn brothers with me, and I’m feeling whiny.I don’t want to do any of the things on my list for today and it is long as I prepare for the trip. All this is probably clouded by the fact that I didn’t sleep well.Sometimes I hit a slump when I think I’m doing well. I guess this is slump day. Too bad there is so much I need to accomplish. ...
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Once Again, a Late Start
2008-06-02 07:18:21
I set that alarm for 5, but when I still wasn’t asleep at midnight, I turned it off. I’ll be heading to the Y after dropping the kids off and will wait to blog more when I get to my computer by about 9.Everybody must be having a slow start this morning. Nobody’s blog that I read has updated yet today... ...
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Thus Ends Today
2008-06-01 20:42:06
So, to wrap up the day:We had a twenty minute picnic with Mike and Kari, trying to do our part in eating up those leftovers. But the mosquitos at the park were so bad we came running home.Salinda was done being grounded, but her best friend was gone all day, so she’s been home and actually not too horribly unpleasant.Tony’s PCA worked for many hours today, giving us a nice break.Dominyk got to work for a neighbor, made money, kept busy, and his medication must be kicking back in because he only had one major meltdown.Bart and I had another walk tonight. And my blood sugar is at 108 only a couple hours after a meal. My numbers have been really good.I have one more time of taking kids to school tomorrow. And then, I’m done for the year.One more day to prepare for my trip.And by the way, I kept both my New Month’s Resolutions for a whole day. 29 more to go. Anyone else doing it? ...
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First Humorous Story for the Book
2008-06-01 16:50:07
I haven’t talked to Bart yet, but I am thinking maybe modifying Kathleen’s idea and using simply “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way ...” as the title of the humorous anecdote chapters of the book.Here is the first installment.Feel free to give me constructive criticism or, if you don’t think it is funny enough, change it, edit it, rewrite it if you feel like it. Anything to make the book better.(Note: Bart will be editing it after we come up with something we're satisfied with)January 1997It had been a very stressful two hour plane ride. Bart and I had never experienced air travel with a toddler, and the combination of several factors on the trip made for a very unpleasant experience. Tony was still wearing diapers, and amidst his tears, we explained that as soon as we got off the plane Daddy Bart would change his diaper. Bart headed off the plane into the crowed gate area with Tony in his arms and I followed closely behind. I saw him put Tony down so he could walk and ...
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Rock or Sand?
2008-06-01 11:27:14
Today’s church service was awesome. Sorry for two “religious” posts in a row, but I was moved to tears several times this morning through the music and my husband’s incredible preaching. And Debbie (who by the way, I’ve never met) your comment “your husband is just the most loving, wonderful dad i have ever met in my life” is completely accurate. He is amazing. I have often teased him that at my funeral there is going to be a stack of applications for those who are interested in applying to be his next wife.Anyway, his sermon today was about the two builders. You who grew up in the church know the story from the song, “The wise man built his house upon the rock.” He talked about foundations and building and what happens when we fall. The story Jesus told is about a couple of guys -- one who built his house on rock, and the other who built it on sand. And when the tough times came, the house that was on the solid foundation stood firm, while the house built on ...
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Can't Serve Both
2008-06-01 11:02:39
I thought about posting this on my “Scripture as I See It” blog, but so few of you click over and this post has been brewing in my mind for a week. I am not trying to change your mind about your faith or your own view of life, but since this blog describes my personal journey, this is a significant piece for me.Last week our District Superintendent preached before baptizing Leon and Wilson and Bart got to be “just the dad” for a few minutes. He chose this text, which he read from the Message, and it really hit home with me."You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both."If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the cloth ...
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If You Could Only Be Here Now to Experience This
2008-06-01 08:30:38
For some reason our smoke alarms are malfunctioning or something. It seems to be triggered by the moisture and heat from the shower. It went off on Saturday morning at 1 a.m. It went off last night at 11. It went off this morning at 7:30. And it won’t be squelched. Of course, there are two that are interconnected some how and they both go off. They screech and even removing the batteries doesn’t help for some reason. Very annoying. It is going off right now and it sets everyone, especially the dog, on edge.Otherwise we had an uneventful evening. We have church this morning and then not much planned today, but I hope to go to the Y and inspired, by Cindy and Linda, I want to declutter my bedroom closet. I need to be caught up with a few work things before I leave for Arizona Tuesday.I also plan to come back with a more structured plan for the summer. I believe i am going to have to work at the kitchen table, as eating and cooking, now, without permission is out of contro ...
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Calling It a Night
2008-05-31 21:34:27
I had this whole post done and then my program messed up and I had to restart it. I hate it when that happens.Here is how we are ending our day:Our family was invited over to Mike and Kari’s for wedding reception leftovers tonight. When people need food eaten, inviting our family, made up of several teenage boys, is always a good plan. The picture is of Mike, the redneck, determined to enjoy the porch he build with his own two hands, regardless of the fact that the rest of us went inside to get out of the rain.Bart and I took a walk. We got interrupted twice. The first time we had to go back to deal with a wayward child. The second time we the call on Bart’s cell began with, “I’m not sure if this is an emergency or not.” Needless to say, we dealt with that when we came home.We got a letter from our Mike who is in jail tonight. Bart blogs eloquently about it here. Salinda has been appropriate and almost nice for four straight days and thus will be ungrounded starting t ...
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And Finally.....
2008-05-31 16:51:17
a couple of pieces of news about my incredible husband.First of all, he wrote the most amazing blog post about the wedding last night. AND here is some huge news. Each year the Bishop draws a name out of a hat to determine the conference preacher for the next annual conference. And my husband will be the 2009 preacher!!! Some people might think it is about odds, and probability -- I think it is a God thing. He’s a great speaker and an anointed preacher so I’m excited for him. It is a big honor and a big responsibility -- quite intimidating even. He will be speaking to an audience of over 900 people, half of them who preach every Sunday. I know he will do GREAT! ...
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The Book We're Writing -- I need an IDEA!
2008-05-31 16:29:00
The book we are writing has had a name change. Right now on the blog it is called “Ten in Nine” but that was because we adopted 10 kids in 9 years. But now we have twelve so we thought long and hard and concluded that we would call the book “Claiming the Unclaimed: How 12 Children and 2 Adults became One Family.”However, the book lacks my typical sense of humor and so I am going to be writing a humorous anecdote section and stick it between chapters.Here is my conundrum. I can’t decide what to call it. Every name that I come up with Bart says is dumb. I thought of “The Humor Corner” or “Laugh Time” or “Laughter Break” but he doesn’t like any of them.Anybody have a good idea? It would basically be a page or two every three or four chapters that tells a funny story about one or more of our kids.What should I call it? Any good ideas out there? ...
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New Month's Resolutions
2008-05-31 16:22:50
So I have spent some of my driving time thinking about how I can make a resolution for thirty days. I mean really, I can do anything for thirty days. And so I have come up with two resolutions for the month of June.The first one is that I am going to write something that will eventually be part of some book in the future every day. Whether it is the book we are currently working on or another one in the future, I want to write at least a paragraph every day for a month.And the second is health related so I am posting it here. Any of you want to join me in making a resolution for the month of June? It’s only thirty days and then if it isn’t something you want to continue you can quit. :-) ...
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A Great Day So Far
2008-05-31 16:13:56
The sun was shining brightly. The grass is green. I took Tony, Jimmy, Sadie and Ricardo up to the Cities for a soccer game. Everyone behaved appropriately (even Tony was better than usual) and the team played very well even though he lost. Ricardo is one tough player and we overheard several parents talking about his skill. Considering this is only his second season of competitive soccer (we had no team in our previous community) and only his 4th year playing on any formal team (he arrived from a Guatemalan orphanage 4 years ago) he does remarkably well.So we spent six hours together and it was all good. And it felt great.I took 89 pictures. The only way to get a good shot of him is to put the camera on continuous and follow him around the field. You can tell by these shots though that he is a determined, competitive player....And I’m a proud mom. ...
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Happy New Month's Eve
2008-05-31 08:47:48
I have been thinking lately that it is too bad we only acknowledge the passing of each year. For some of us who have lives that are difficult (but yes, ones that we have chosen) making it through a month is a milestone.Fresh starts are great things. New Year’s day for many is a time to re-evaluate and make resolutions and plans for the year to come. We see it as a new beginning and we often use that to make major life changes.What if we started doing so every month? What if the end of a month became a time where we rejoiced that we made it through that month, especially if it was a difficult one? What if we felt the same way about the beginning of each month as we do about the start of each year -- that it was a new opportunity to make changes and begin again?What if we looked back on the month and gave thanks for the good things that happened and gave God thanks for getting us through the hard times?Celebrating the passing of a month isn’t quite like a year. In fact, you can ...
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Makeup Three Times in One Week
2008-05-31 08:37:51
I only have a little while this morning to blog and I have so many things to talk about. What should be first?Let’s start with last night and I’ll keep you up to date.Salinda actually seems to be taking my advice to make the best of the situation she is in. She was not happy about being grounded and chose not to go with us out for pizza, but she did decide to make the best of the rest of her night. When we came home from the wedding (more on that in a second) she was busy playing basketball and running around outside with Dominyk (shocked us all). Then she asked permission to stay up late so she and Sadie could watch a movie together. She was very appropriate all day.I had a few moments of frustration as we invited all the children to come with us to Mike and Kari’s daughter Katie’s wedding and they one by one refused. About 10 years ago we made a decision not to force our teenagers to attend things with us, and now I’m wondering if that was a bad decision. We have had ...
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He is HOME and She is Testing Again
2008-05-30 15:59:47
Bart is finally home and I am so relieved. For some reason I really missed my husband today... more than usual. And Salinda came down asking to have a friend come over, acting as though she never knew I said that. I reminded her that I had texted her yesterday explaining that and she denied that until I offered to show it too her (the Iphone keeps every text message back and forth until you delete it -- all like a chat window. Very cool feature).So even though my heart was pounding I reminded her of exactly at what point in time I had explained the terms of her grounding to her, both times. I reminded her that she would be done being grounded on Sunday if she could do what she was supposed to do and be respectful for the next two days. She stomped off ... but I guess stomping silently could be construed as something other than disrespect. ;-)Very few of the children are interested in going to a wedding. Dressing up on a Friday night in church clothes doesn't sound that appeal ...
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It's That Time of the Month Again
2008-05-30 12:10:43
No, not THAT time of the month...It’s the time where I post kids for Adopt America’s Matching Bash. It’s a couple days that we dedicate just to matching kids with families -- which is the mission of our organization -- but as with any organization the actual mission sometimes gets clouded by record keeping, meetings, fund-raising, etc. So we spend two days doing nothing but matching kids and families and we put off all the other junk that gets in our way.The week before the bash, I ask social workers to send me profiles. And this month I have received so many. And as I have worked diligently to post them, I have the same feelings as I always feel. “I could parent this kid!” or “wow, they are going to have trouble finding a home for this child” or “there are a lot of families that are going to be interested in her, because she is really cute, but they are going to have their hands full. They have no idea what they are getting into.” My heart strings are pulled b ...
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ADHD and Meds
2008-05-30 09:47:33
Before beginning this response to a reader question, let me say that I have dropped off kids for the next-to-the-last-time this year this morning. Next week I will do it once and then be on my way to visit my parents. I also just returned from the YMCA to check my blood sugar and had the lowest since I started checking regularly in February.I had a reader ask what I thought about medicating kids at age four and it took me back in time 8 years to about this time of year.Dominyk was in special education preschool at the time and Wow, was he a handful. He’s 12 now and still, as I have been posting, cannot sit still or keep quiet, but at 4. Oh....my.....gooodness. He was a perpetual moving object. Anyway, I was at the Fitness Center and I have no idea why, but I was using the fitness center phone to talk to his preschool teacher. Thinking then that Dominyk would always be our youngest, I knew that I was only months away from having all the kids in school all day everyday (we had a ...
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Not Having a Very Good Start Today
2008-05-30 09:20:17
We have four boys who share a giant bedroom in the basement. They rely on the oldest, who is almost 20, to set his alarm and wake them up in the morning. This morning he didn't have class, so he decided to sleep in. Without telling them, I guess. Because at 7:10, when they are supposed to be up at 6:45, I came downstairs to find them all asleep. So this morning is crazy.I'm heading to the YMCA after I drop everyone off, so in order to read more you'll have to tune in later....But, for your reading pleasure, Bart has blogged again. You can read his articulate words" while waiting for what he calls my "barf on a page." ...
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If You Do Not Believe in ADHD...
2008-05-29 20:59:33
you should have been with me for the past 40 minutes. Even heavily medicated, Dominyk simply cannot self-regulate. He goes on and on and on. Tonight I left the house at 5:45 after a quick supper which was preceded by a trip to the YMCA. We went to drop Ricardo off at his soccer game in the rain, then dropped Jimmy off at the Y, and then Dominyk, Wilson and I went to the Festival at their school. Talk about a zoo. Hundreds of kids and parents spending way too much money on games and food I can’t eat. (sorry for sounding cynical, but I have attended at least one of these for the last 11 years and somewhere along the line, probably about 10 minutes into the FIRST ONE, they lost their appeal). Anyway, it finally got over at 8 and we had to go back to get Ricardo from his game. (This one parent, one vehicle, one driver, 8 kids thing is getting annoying). We had to wait 15 minutes in the van for them to finish playing in the pouring rain and then go back to the Y to pick up JImmy. ...
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OK, so by this point you are all wondering if I need psychiatric care
2008-05-29 15:52:37
So.... I use all my self-differentiation techniques, purposefully choosing to deep breathe, relax, remove myself from the situation, control my own anxiety.I get to the school and have five minutes to wait. I’m all geared up for a fight. I worked on email to distract myself and finally felt OK and prepared for her arrival.She gets in as if nothing had happened. I’m now wondering if her friend actually sent the text without Salinda even knowing or something, because she was so calm.Maybe if I have enough of these false alarms I’ll stop being so freaked out.So anyway, I went to pick up the boys at the other Jr. High/High School (Rand is at work, and Bart out of town, so there is only one driver). Of course, the boys weren’t there, not one of the four of them, but that’s another story that will probably go untold.So I come home and walk in the door and her chore is already done. I say to Sadie, “I may need your help getting supper ready” and Salinda says, from the other ...
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