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Two Okapis
I am a father of twins and a marriage and family therapist. I write about the challenges and rewards of being an involved father while working full-time. I write during the only disposable time of my day - I write on my train ride to and from work.
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A Father’s Voice - My Little Indulgence
2008-05-07 15:55:33
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for May 2008. My Little Indulgence is about well, my little indulgence while my children are sleeping.
A Father’s Voice is my chance to share my voice with you about the challenges and rewards I experience trying to be a very involved father while having to work full-time away from our [...] ...
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A Father’s Voice - Having to Step It Up A Notch
2008-03-17 02:19:45
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for March 2008. Having to Step It Up A Notch is my realization that I may be an involved father, but there was still quite a bit I didn’t know.
A Father’s Voice is my chance to share my voice with you about the challenges and rewards I experience trying to [...] ...
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A Father’s Voice - Can She Love Me Too Much?
2008-02-18 17:44:52
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for January 2008. Can She Love Me Too Much is my exploration into the sometimes overwhelming love between me and my daughter.
A Father’s Voice is my chance to share my voice with you about the challenges and rewards I experience trying to be a very involved father while having to [...] ...
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A Father’s Voice - You Are The Foundation For All Who Come After You
2008-01-10 15:49:39
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for January 2008. You Are The Foundation For All Who Come After You is my message to involved fathers for National Mentoring Month.
A Father’s Voice is my chance to share my voice with you about the challenges and rewards I experience trying to be a very involved father while having [...] ...
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A Father’s Voice - This Year We’re Going to DisneyWorld
2007-12-10 22:19:10
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for December 2007. This month’s column is called This Year We’re Going to DisneyWorld. It is about how chaotic this time of year can be - especially for our family - and our solution to deal with it.
The exciting news this month is that two things I worked on and [...] ...
Father
Voice
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A Father’s Voice - Remembering to Smell the Roses
2007-10-11 04:38:37
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for October 2007. Remembering to Smell the Roses is a reminder that despite our best intentions to help our children achieve the goals we have for them (and even for themselves), we can’t afford to forget to enjoy the journey getting there.
This was a big month. This month marks the [...] ...
Father
Roses
Smell
Voice
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A Father’s Voice - In Just 16 Minutes
2007-09-17 18:48:23
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for September 2007. In Just 16 Minutes is a snapshot of how intense everything can be when your child wakes up in the middle of the night upset.
This month I was interviewed again, this time for an article that will appear in American Baby about the baby blues and depression [...] ...
Father
Voice
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On the same team
2007-09-07 03:21:17
It was a tentative conversation at first, the way it can be when two involved dads get together because you never quite know who you are talking to when you are talking to a father. Maybe he is a sensitive, involved father. Maybe he is one of those guys who don’t get it, who don’t [...] ...
Team
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I love Just Daddy Time
2007-09-05 16:23:52
I had just sat down to put my lenses in this morning when I heard the opening of a door. There are only three closed doors inside our house and one of them is in the Okapis’ room. I turned to see who was coming. It was my little girl.
“You okay?
“Yeah,” she said, but she [...] ...
Daddy
Love
Time
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A little Tuesday morning heartache
2007-09-04 15:38:54
Oh right. I remember this feeling, this sadness, this aching feeling in my heart at leaving my family after a three-day weekend. I woke up this morning completely unsettled and I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. Of course I don’t want to go to work, but honestly I have made great strides [...] ...
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Invitation to join the Okapi Football League
2007-08-30 22:30:54
Imagine this was delivered via a tuxedoed gentleman, wearing white gloves, handing you this special invitation, beaming his radiant smile because he knows you have just been elevated to the next level, that your life is about to change forever, that you are being offered admission to one of the most elite leagues in the [...] ...
Football
Invitation
League
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What will I regret more?
2007-08-24 15:28:27
I feel like the summer has passed me by this year and it is sad. Primarily because of my situation at work and recently because of working on the bathroom, I have taken almost no time off this summer and we haven’t been to the beach or gone camping or done much of anything fun [...] ...
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Feeling my music and just trying to focus a little
2007-08-23 15:23:20
It’s when I am standing on the train platform, needing to dance that I know something is going on with me – especially since I spent a couple hours last night checking out music on iTunes and buying a whole bunch of new music. My emotions are building, expanding within me, the pressure rising to [...] ...
Music
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Maybe we need a little Los Tres Amigos every night
2007-08-16 15:55:09
“I don’t care about Daddy’s sickness. I care about Daddy!” my little girl cried out from her bedroom on Tuesday night. “I want Daddy!”
Unfortunately, Daddy had been completely knocked down by a nasty fever, hot enough to almost scald my hands as I held them against my face while I tried to sleep after I [...] ...
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My Okapis on the phone
2007-08-14 15:29:56
Sunday afternoon Gem called Nana so the Okapis could talk to her. In fact, I think Gem pushed the numbers and Elijah actually talked first when Nana answered the phone. I stepped out of the room for a moment and when I came back, Elijah was still intently talking to her, answering her questions, listening [...] ...
Phone
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Macho Macho Daddy
2007-08-13 16:26:44
I made big progress this weekend on becoming even more the kind of man I want to be. This weekend, I demolished our downstairs bathroom with my brother-in-law. Knocked off the tiles, ripped out the walls and took out the sink, toilet and bathtub. I had never done anything like that in my life and [...] ...
Daddy
Macho
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Was being 4.5 always this tough?
2007-08-10 16:04:18
“Where are you going, Elijah?” I asked my son after he had gone to the bathroom. We were all sitting at the dinner table finishing our meal.
“I’m going upstairs,” he said with a hint of attitude.
“Elijah, we’re still eating dinner. Please come back to the table.”
“But I want to be ALONE!” he screamed at me.
Me, [...] ...
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A Father’s Voice - Best Part of My Life, Daddy
2007-08-09 16:43:49
Welcome to A Father’s Voice for August 2007. Best Part of My Life, Daddy is about the roller coaster ride of being a Daddy – how it can be wonderful, lonely and then glorious all in a couple of hours.
After some time off last month, things have picked up with an intensity. I was interviewed [...] ...
Daddy
Father
Life
Voice
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I have something to tell you, Daddy
2007-08-08 17:24:05
“Daddy, I have something to tell you,” my little girl said to me last night as she stood up from cuddling next to me while we had read Curious George and the Firefighters.
“What do you have to tell me?”
“I am very, very, very sorry for behaving so badly, Daddy.”
“Well, thank you, Sweetie Girl, but why [...] ...
Daddy
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Maybe it is just too much right now?
2007-08-06 15:27:58
The aching sadness in my chest is making me feel like I’ve been hit by one of the Long Island Rail Road trains I have to take every morning. It hurts and I am not sure what is going on.
Yes, it is Monday morning and those have historically been tough on me.
Yes, there is no [...] ...
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Their first, and hopefully last, summer sickness
2007-08-02 17:15:36
Sunday night after I put the Okapis to bed, I had the yucky, anxious feeling. My Okapis were sick and it sucks knowing they’re going to have a tough time sleeping but there wasn’t much I can do. Elijah had a nasty, chest cough and Jordyn was fighting a fever. It was clear by dinner [...] ...
Summer
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My first test
2007-08-01 17:00:37
This afternoon ended up being my first test. It was 4:55pm and someone asked me, after I had put my backpack on my shoulder and had my iPod in my hand, “Are you leaving?”
I looked over my shoulder at my backpack, “Yes. Yes, I am.”
She wanted me to do something before I left (an email [...] ...
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And so it begins…again
2007-07-30 16:20:42
“I’ve never really backed down from my fears, “I explained to Gem. “I’ve faced a lot of stuff that was very scary, but my fear never stood in my way – at least not for very long.”
“I know. It is one of the things I most respect about you.”
“But this…this scares me and it’s why [...] ...
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Everything changes…will I keep up?
2007-07-26 16:48:14
One of the things I have tried to do, but feel is essentially impossible to actually get across is to explain to expecting parents that once your child is born EVERYTHING CHANGES. I don’t just mean the way we live our lives, the lack of time, the sense of chaos, the exhaustion. I’m talking about [...] ...
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You Can’t Always Get What You Want
2007-07-24 15:37:23
“Are you still here,” my wife yelled downstairs.
Because of my slightly passive/aggressive nature, but more because of my true understanding of “It just doesn’t fucking matter” culture at my organization, I’ve been taking a later train more mornings than not. It means my mornings are not so rushed, I get slightly more sleep, have more [...] ...
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Fatherhood as salvation
2007-07-23 19:45:11
I had a rare treat yesterday afternoon. I got to watch sports with my Okapis. Much to my chagrin, Gem doesn’t like sports at all and I don’t get to watch much of them. I get my fix of SportsCenter in the morning while the house is still filled with the steady breathing of my [...] ...
Salvation
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A love affair
2007-07-20 16:00:59
It just doesn’t seem possible to describe what it is like to be the love of your daughter’s life. My sister has been in town for the past several days and Gem remarked to her that Jordyn is in love with me. And it is completely true. My little girl adores me. She thinks up [...] ...
Love
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Day Two
2007-07-19 15:43:31
In my second of two days of mourning I am realizing more and more about how devastating an impact my mother’s intentional absence from my life is. Last week a friend of mine from work asked me for lunch. I thought she was joking and didn’t even respond until she said something later and I [...] ...
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My National Day of Mourning
2007-07-18 15:19:27
Dear Mom,
I was walking to the train station this morning, feeling relatively good considering I was going to work, listening to my iPod. I have been on a strange mission with my iPod, let’s call it a scientific experiment. I have a playlist that excludes classical music and children’s music, but includes everything else on [...] ...
National
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