Esser Agaroth The approximate monetary equivalent of two cents

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Take 'Em Off! ...Now!
2008-05-11 20:27:00
7 of the Second Month 5768I'm talking about Jewish men, and their wedding bands. There isn't anything in the LEAST bit Jewish about men wearing wedding bands.Oh, I can hear it now...."But I CHOOSE to wear a wedding band. My wife doesn't make me. I like it."(eyes rolling)"I want to fit in, and not look out of place [in the U. S.]"(sigh)Fine. You wanna wear your precious wedding bands? Do NOT try to pretend that it is something Jewish. Be honest with yourselves.It is a goyshe custom."Oh, but Ya'aqov, you don't understand. You're not married. When you find the right woman, and she wants you to wear a wedding band, you will realize it is small compromise to make, and you'll end up appreciating the custom in the long-run anyway...(blah, blah, blah)"Oh, I understand alright. I understand that if I meet a woman who wants her husband to wear a wedding band, I will know for certain that she is NOT the right woman for me.OK. Fine. You in hu"tz la'Aretz (outside of Israel), due to the g ...

Haveil Havalim #165 Is Up!
2008-05-11 18:03:00
6 of the Second Month 5768Haveil Havalim #165 is up at Jack's Place (Random Thoughts - Do They Have Any Meaning?).It's the Happy 60th Birthday, Israel Edition.By the way, Jack's the one to contact if you would like to take a turn hosting this blog carnival: talktojacknow@sbcglobal.net. While you're volunteering to host, don't forget to wish Jack a Happy 39th Birthday.If you have something you would like to submit, you can use the handy-dandy, on-line submission form. ...

How The YeSh"A Council Thugs Celebrated Israeli Independence Day
2008-05-08 20:36:00
4 of the Second Month 5768My sources tell me that there was a major poster war during the recent nights of posting announcements for Yom HaAtzma'uth (Israeli Independence Day) events in Yehudah and Shomron (Judea & Samaria).The war was between publicizing a "Land Of Israel Supporters event in the destroyed town of Homesh in the heart of the Shomron near Jenin, and a YeSh"A Council-sponsored event in the mamlachti town Migron, just north of Jerusalem.Layers upon layers of posters over posters, from the back and forth coverage, could be found throughout the Shomron. In between were the Jonathan Pollard posters struggling for space. My sources tell me that if there was a choice between covering up a YeSh"A/Migron poster with a Pollard poster versus covering up a Homesh poster, it was a no-brainer.The YeSh"A/Migron poster got it.Important rabbis, unafraid to express Torah truth, even if means criticizing the Israeli Goverment, could be found in Homesh. They included Rabbi Yisrael Ariel ...

Did I Stand For The Siren?
2008-05-08 15:25:00
3 of the Second Month 5768Two nights ago at 8:00pm the Israeli Memorial Day Siren sounded. Leading up to that moment, I realized that I had not been in a city for during the sounding of sirens for years. Often I was at home at night or teaching school in a small town during the day, where my choice as to what to do during the siren was made for me.With all of the chatter about the siren, and knowing that I would be in Jerusalem, I thought more than usual about what I would do when the siren went off. Although I have to admit, from the first time I experienced the sirens in Tel-Aviv, 10 years ago, I have found the experience moving,...in a way.Some have suggested that standing for a siren, laying wreaths on graves, and the like are not in the least bit Jewish, and should be exchanged for traditionally Jewish practices.Rabbi Hanania Tsfar of Rosh Ha'Ayin called for the reciting Tehillim (Psalms) during IDF Memorial Day and Holocaust Remembrance Day (Nitsan Yanko, YNET).The two friends ...

All Need To Know, I Learned From Harry Potter
2008-05-08 13:08:00
3 of the Second Month 5768An egg sandwich is better than nothing; boiled mushrooms apparently aren't. Even salmon might be obtainable, but you have to think to look for it first.You can't always judge someone by first impressions, and definitely not by rumors. (Neville, Sirius Black, Luna, thestrals,...)Even some nasty kreachers can change, if you're nice to them.Help is available,...to those who ask for it.Help can come from the most surprising places. But, keep your friends close nonetheless.Governments don't always tell the truth.To curse someone effectively, you really have to mean it. It isn't necessary to curse anyone except your enemies.Killing someone can damage your soul,...so don't kill anyone.Tears can be healing.Combining courage, intellect, and loyalty can create something great. Ambition must be moderated. ...

Haveil Havalim #164 Is Up!
2008-05-05 00:21:00
Alef d'Rosh Hodesh of the Second Month 5768Haveil Havalim #164 - No Names Edition is up at Simply Jews. Check out the vicious rumors Snoopy has been spreading about me! ...

Guest Poster: A Revolutionary Idea: "Hashemcracy"
2008-05-04 23:49:00
Alef d'Rosh Hodesh of the Second Month 5768My friend and neighbor, Ariel Ben Yohanan, founder of the Jewish Yisrael E-Group, asked me to post the following piece for him. It's the latest in his "Demos, Cratos" series. His line is getting harder and harder in front of our very eyes.We look forward to seeing more of Ariel in the JBlogosphere in the near future, with his own blog. In the meantime,....A Revolutionary Idea: "Hashemcracy" by Ariel Ben Yohanan (Bereny)In occasion of Israel's 60th anniversary let us remember that the Knesset, Israel's parliament, is an institution non prescribed by the Torah.The Knesset therefore is unsuitable for a truly Jewish State: a parliamentary democracy, per definition, can not be a Jewish Sate as a Jewish State has to be based on the Jewish Constitution, on Torah.Let us remember that the Creator especially tells us in His Torah to respect His laws and to fight tyrants. Tyrants are men who coerce their fellow men.Knesset members are doing exactly th ...

You Know You're Israeli When...
2008-05-03 20:26:00
Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Qedoshim 5768Dan of Tzipiyah.com asked me [and many others] to participate in his Big Project for Israel's 60th Birthday. He asks writers to answer the following question:"What are the 4 accomplishments of the State of Israel which make you most proud?"Well, Dan, I've tried. But every time I come up with something positive, my negative attitude toward the state gets in the way, and I ruin it. For example, when I come up with my pride in the state's 5727 (1967) victory against our enemies, I immediately think about how the state started messing it up soon afterwards, starting with the giving up of the Temple Mount. It just goes on from there,...never annexing Judea, Samaria, and Azza, kicking Jews out of Azza and the Northern Shomron, getting ready to do the same elsewhere, wasting a lot of money on that stupid wall,...etc.When I think of the state's accomplishment of bringing Jews back to our Homeland, I cannot stop thinking about former Interior M ...

Haveil Havalim #163 Is Up
2008-04-28 21:02:00
Tzipiyah plays host to the Haveil Havalim Blog Carnival this week.Next week's edition will hosted at Simply Jews. Don't forget to use the handy-dandy on-line submission form, if you would like to contribute. ...

Think Big
2008-04-27 14:32:00
Isru Hag haPesah 5768I am not sure why I have not yet posted this article by my rabbi and teacher, Rabbi Dawidh Bar-Hayim. Rafi G., Tamar Yonah, and Akiva did, as did Arutz 7 (Israel National News).Many people have commented on the article, and have ask me and other students of Rabbi Bar-Hayim various questions about it. My response to their questions is the same response to anyone who is reading the article for the first time here on my blog:E-mail him at harav@machonshilo.org.The title of this article is "Think Big," suggested by the Arutz 7 editor Nissan Ratzlav-Ka"tz. Unbeknown to him, this was already on Rabbi Bar-Hayim's list of possible titles.Yet, the original title was "Clueless Leaders: Going Nowhere Fast." I think you will see why, when you read the article below.*********Think Bigby Rabbi Dawidh Bar-HayimRevisionist leader Ze'ev Jabotinsky once illustrated his criticism of mainstream Zionism with the following analogy: "I saw a man limping down the street, using only on ...

More On Qitniyoth
2008-04-23 20:29:00
5 d'Hol HaMo'ed Pesah 5768It was told to us that a few years ago, the Rabbinuth HaShomron (Samaria Rabbinic Council) was asked to inspect a factory which produced salads, the primary ingredients of which are qitniyoth. The owner of the factory desired a kashruth certification for Pesah. After the Rabbinuth's thorough inspection was carried out, one problem was revealed. A wheat seed or two was found while sifting through the dried ingredients. The rabbis involved explained that this is highly problematic, but that excellent technology was now available which allows the sifting of varying sizes of seeds, preventing the wheat [or other mahmitz] from getting into the mixture, and eliminating any hashash (concern) of a hametziq product from being produced.(I am not sure how many times the sifting of each set of seeds was required even with such refined machinery.)The factory owner bought the special equipment, and was granted kashruth certification from Rabbinuth HaShomron.The factory ...

Leil Seder Pesah 5768
2008-04-23 14:28:00
4 d'Hol HaMo'ed Pesah 5768Hesh at Frum Satire, brings up a very important point about the Seder Pesah: Many people dread it.Check out his post, Why do Pesach Seders Suck So Much? (my best seder of all time)Hesh's post inspired me to give you a brief recap of my Seder here in K'far Tapu'ah, and my 10ag about the Seder in general.Rabbis often ask themselves, "Why are Jews turned off by Torah?" Hello?!But, watering things down, being overly creative, making it up according to your feelings like the so-called "liberal Jews" are none of the appropriate answers for combating this attitude.When you look at the halachah, and see what is actually required in the Seder, you'll be surprised. It's just not that long. See the Nusah Hagadah of the Ramba"m, for example.Like Hesh, I was worried this year, too. Appropriate or not, I expressed my fears to my host the week before, when I found out that my Shabbath/Seder options were limited, and that I was "stuck" in my yishuv instead of being able ...

Important Pesah Public Notice
2008-04-21 22:07:00
Hol HaMo'ed Pesah 5768I have asked our local pashkivil expert Rafi G. at Life In Israel to translate the following notice to the public which has suddenly appeared all over the Shomron.I expect to add his translation here, or to see it soon in the comments section.Related links:The Minhag of Qitniyoth: Anatomy of an ErrorSummary of a Psaq Halachah: Permissibility for all Jews in Eretz Yisrael to eat qiniyoth during Pesah Hag Kasher weSame'ah. ...

Haveil Havalim #162 - Pesah Edition
2008-04-12 23:25:00
Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Messor'ah 5768Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'hevel,' or in English, 'vanity.'But first, a few words from our sponsor...1) A number of bloggers do a tremendous job of submitting posts. However, our fearless leader, Jack, would like to remind you not submit more than three of your own posts, please.2) We are still looking for more hosts."It is fun and exciting." -Jack3) The deadline for submission is Friday. Yes, it used to be Saturday ...

Haveil Havalim Is Up #161
2008-04-06 10:52:00
Rosh Hodesh - The First Month 5768Haveil Havalim Blog Carnival, edition #161 is up at Jerusalem Underground. I still don't quite understand what a Pidgeon Break is, but that's the nickname for this weeks edition.I'm up as next week's host, so start sending me your best stuff, spreading it out through this week, using the on-line Blog Carnival Submission Form. ...

Shomron Hilltop Torched!
2008-03-31 12:45:00
24 of the Thirteenth Month 5768Elnaqam, one of the hilltops adjacent to K'far Tapu'ah Hill was torched Sunday night, and the police aim to complete the pogrom:Elnaqam 4: One year agoSunday night the Tapu'ah Response Team and volunteer fire dept woke up to a horrible fire on the Tapu'ah hilltop known as El Nakam-4. The last remaining tent that housed a Torah study-hall, dormitory and dining hall for the small unique canine yeshiva was torched at approximately 3:00 AM. Miraculously, no holy books were damaged and nobody was harmed in the fierce fire, which is believed to have been started by gas firebombs tossed lit into the tent.Elnaqam 4: Yekutiel Ben-Ya'akov praying early Monday morningFirefighters controlled the blaze by 4:00 AM and military trackers were unable to find conclusive signs or direction of the fleeing arsonists.The entire hill has been slated for destruction by the IDF Central Commander Gad Shamni like most other "illegal" hills in Judea and Samaria. The police were sche ...

Facebook Halachah
2008-03-30 23:22:00
24 of the Thirteenth Month 5768Ya'aqov Ben-Yehudah's Facebook profile1. It is imperative to update your status immediately after becoming engaged, getting married, divorced (lo aleinu), or adding children to your family.Some poseqim hold that one must even update ones "married" status before entering the yihud room.Others are more lenient, allowing for this to be done within 24 hours of the Qeddushin. The source in support of such leniency is invariably that "One who is engaged in a misswah is exempt from [another positive] misswah." However, practical considerations such as the hazaqah that the hall will not have Wi-Fi and that not everyone owns a laptop to schlep to his wedding, are also relevant to this opinion.The rebuttal against such leniency stems from the understanding that of course updating ones Facebook status takes precedence over focusing on the details of the wedding itself. One should surely secure a hall with Wi-Fi, as well as a laptop if one does not own his own.All ...

Haveil Havalim #160 Is Up!
2008-03-30 10:26:00
23 of the Thirteenth Month 5768Haveil Havalim #160 is up at Life In Israel. It's the "Waffles Edition."Really, Rafi. Enough with the waffles already!Shouldn't you humrah-addicted, qitniyoth-shunning bloggers be cleaning your blogs for Pesah already? ...

Kosher Cooking Carnival #28 Is Up - Dayenu Edition
2008-03-24 19:15:00
18 of the Thirteenth Month 5768Check out the Dayenu Edition of the Kosher Cooking Carnival (#28) at Little Frumhouse on the Prairie. I am afraid that I am a week late in letting you about it. Please go check out the creative recipes and tips posted there. If you would like to contribute to next month's edition or host, use the handy contact information and on-line submission form. ...

If It Looks Like A Border Crossing....
2008-03-23 21:27:00
17 of the Thirteenth Month 5768"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands."-- Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)Thus we can discern from this pattern of logic that if it looks like a border crossing, sounds like a border crossing, and feels like a border crossing, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have an opening in a wall, where individuals are stopped by guards and gates before passing between two areas of separately controlled pieces of land,...on our hands.Photo: Hizmah Border Crossing, entering the Jerusalem neighborhood of Pisgat Ze'evQuite frankly, I am surprised that no one has written about this yet. Maybe, I just missed it. Bayta alludes to it here and here.Ariel Sharon YSh"W kept saying, no, no, no, the "security barrier" is not a de facto border between Israel and [yet another] Arab [terrorist] state.Liar ...

Of Course You Know, This Means War!
2008-03-23 12:50:00
Special 3rd Day of Purim for Walled Cities 5768OK. This was the last straw. Rafi G. got his waffles personally delivered, as did Joe Settler.I issued the following warning:"Jameel? Jack? I know where the money's hidden; I know where the bodies are buried. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH ME!"...but to no avail. My warning was not heeded. Thus I have no choice but to exact revenge.I will now reveal Jameel's secret identity and location. Jameel is none other than... No, really! It's true, and I can prove it! First, notice the uncanny resemblance between these spy photos stolen from Joe and Rafi respectively, and Bugs Bunny's official face shot. (See how effectively the hat covers up his ears?) Second, the gimatriah qetannah of Jameel Rashid is "5," and that of Bugs Bunny is "3." Both names contain 2 words. 2 plus 3 equals 5! The third bit of evidence comes from Bugs Bunny's star on the Hollywood "Walk Of Fame." The star has 5 points, the gimatriah qetannah of Jameel's name. ...

Where Are My Waffles?! Haveil Havalim #159 Is Up.
2008-03-23 09:46:00
Special 3rd Day of Purim for Walled Cities 5768Haveil Havalim #159 is up at Jack's Place. It's the "Purim Is Over Edition." Don't worry. Several of us have already chastised him for forgetting that Purim is not yet over in Jerusalem, nor in Hevron, Shilo, Tiveria, and Tzfat, I think. This special situation of three days of Purim for "walled cities" and for cities which might have been walled during the time of Yehoshu'a Bin-Nun apparently won't happen again for another 15 years. Jack suggests that you check back periodically throughout the day, as this edition will be updated.Oh, yeah, and don't expect any waffles. The waffle enticement is just scam!Now, bloggers like Joe Settler are rubbing it in that "All bloggers are equal, just some bloggers get waffles, and others don't." (My word, not his)Jameel? Jack? I know where the money's hidden; I know where the bodies are buried. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH ME! ...

Conversation With A Soldier
2008-03-22 20:05:00
Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Ssaw/Purim le'Muqafin 5768Walking back from the Tapu'ah West and Elnaqam 4 Hills on Shabbath afternoon, I re-entered the fence surrounding K'far Tapu'ah (I hate that fence) to encounter a soldier's queries. After the requisite nodding of heads....Soldier: Are you from here?10ag (Me): (jokingly) No, I'm from Yassuf (a neighboring Ishma'elite village).Soldier: (grin & holding a paper in his hand) Can I ask you something,...about where we are?10ag: (a matter of fact-ly) Why? So, you can know from which town you're supposed to throw the residents out?Soldier: No, so that I can know about the area where I'm guarding.10ag: Why don't you ask your commander?Soldier: I don't really appreciate you talking to me that way.10ag: Look. I have nothing personal against you, at all. Ask me any other question, ANY other question, and I'll be happy to answer it.Soldier: You have another reason not to have anything personal against me. I'm your neighbor. I live in ...

What Is Racism?
2008-03-21 13:49:00
Erev Shabbath Qodesh Tzav/Purim 5768Yekutiel Ben-Ya'akov stands convicted of "Incitement to Racism," and is expected to be sentenced on this coming Tuesday. Below is my translation of a poster (click image to enlarge) which can be seen around Israel, protesting the Israeli government's policies, which have failed to protect its citizens. The Expulsion of Jews Is Not RacismBut...To Suggest the Expulsion of Hostile Arabs Is RacismSuch is what the "religious" Judge Rivka Friedman-Feldman has ruled -- in a ruling she gave against Yekutiel Ben-Ya'akov who was convicted of "Incitement to Racism," for arranging an independent, national referendum. In a referendum which was set up before the expulsion of Jews from Gaza ("Disengagement"), the Misha'lot Yisrael organization, under the authority of Yekutiel Ben-Ya'akov, offered two proposals tens of thousands of participants in the poll were asked to choose between "Sharon's Disengagement Plan," which meant the expulsion of thousands of Jews f ...

The Waffle Conspiracy
2008-03-16 20:43:00
10 of the Thirteenth Month 5768Jameel Rashid's waffle obsession is just out of control! Check out The Muqata, and see for yourself how many of his posts contain the word "waffles."Hosts of the Haveil Havalim Blog Carnival were promised waffles for hosting.I'll Call Baila did not get hers. Gila did not get hers ("Yo man....where's my waffles????"). Batya did not get hers("...And if you decide to deliver waffles to Yaaqov, then please bring some here, too. We're not that far away."). And, I did certainly did not get mine:There is a vicious rumor going around that hosts automatically gain an invitation to a waffle breakfast at Jameel's place.Jameel? Where are my waffles? Did Ill Call Baila get hers? Please make mine with spelt flour and without eggs. I'm on a diet. Also, please hold the vanilla, or any other spirit, called for in the recipe.Until I see my waffles, I am afraid that this rumor cannot be confirmed.Did anyone get their waffles? I think not. Unless, of course, there are ...

Haveil Havalim #158 Is Up!
2008-03-16 11:41:00
9 of the Thirteenth Month 5768Haveil Havalim #158 is up at Jack's Place. It's the "Almost Purim Edition." Jack suggests that you check back periodically throughout the day, as this edition will be updated.Oh, yeah, and don't expect any waffles. The waffle enticement is just scam! ...

Gilu'i Da'ath: Neqamah?
2008-03-15 21:34:00
Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Wayiqra/Zakhor 5768Most of you have heard or have seen the gilu'i da'ath (opinion statement) poster signed by the following rabbis calling for Neqamah (revenge) for the murder of the eight students at the Merkaz HaRav Yeshivah. Or did they?Rabbi Yitzhaq GinzbergRosh Yeshivath "Od Yosef Hai"Rabbi Yaakov YosefRabbi, Givath Moshe communityRabbi Daniel StavskyRabbi Yitzchak Shapira"Od Yosef Hai"Rabbi David DrukmanHabba"d, HaQrayothRabbi Ido AlbaRosh Kollel Ma'arath HaMakhpellahRabbi Gadi Ben-ZimraRosh Ulpanath LevonahRabbi Shmuel YanivRabbi Uzi SharbafRabbi Yigal ShendorfiRabbi Yehuda KroizerRosh Yeshivath Ra'ayon HeYehudi(Rabbi Kahane's HY"D Yehshivah)I finally found an extra poster laing around, and was going to translate it tonight. But Comic X in Jerusalem has beaten me to it. You can see his English translation of the poster at "Here Is What Ynet News Won't Show You." His post also includes a photo of the original Hebrew poster for those of you w ...

I Gotta Job!
2008-03-14 12:21:00
Erev Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Wayiqra/Zakhor 5768Well, after months of unemployment, searching, sending out resumes, a month of moderate to serious depression, being chased down by the bank, doing temporary jobs, a translation or two and helping a shiputzniq (renovator) do a couple of jobs, and sitting through a handful of interviews, I finally got a job,...in a print shop,...in Jerusalem,...and paying minimum wage (NIS 20/hour; about $5.55).Hey, I'll take it!Who's gonna do it? Arabs? Foreign workers? I'll cover my intense displeasure with the [mainly] American, messed-up, and utterly galuthi (diasporan) mentality related to what is an acceptable job for a "nice Jewish boy" or girl another time....The main point I want to make is HOW I got the job.Pure and simple it was "protexia.""Protexia" can be roughly translated into English as "connections." In other words, it's what you know, but who you knew.Ever wonder why there are some pretty bad translations of Hebrew signs into English ...

Menahem Avellim
2008-03-13 10:09:00
6 of the Thirteenth MonthYonatan Yitzhaq Eldar HY"D (upper left corner) learned with me only for a quarter, years ago. I was in a car with him only two weeks ago. I asked where he was learning. When he said Yashla"tz (Yeshivah le'Tze'irim Yerushalayim), I was impressed. I told him that I could see that, that I thought it was a good choice for him.*A friend of his was visiting my town last Shabbath. I mentioned how Yonatan was so adept in computers. His friend combatted, "Computers?! The Torah Yoantan knew!"I felt stupid. He was right. The impeccable reputation of Yashla"tz has been mentioned in the media a lot recently. Believe everything you hear. The students really are the creme of the crop.I was at the Eldars' house on Sunday. I saw his brothers, two older, two younger, one who looks just like him. After Minhah, I made my way to the brother I knew. I couldn't get to the other family. It was packed.Rav Avraham Yerushalmi, the Eldar's next door neighbor, led the mishn ...

Haveil Havalim #157 Is Up.
2008-03-09 10:04:00
2 of the Thirteenth Month 5768Haveil Havalim #157 is up at Gila's My Shrapnel Blog. You'll find my Four Kugels post there. Do not be hard on Gila for leaving out some posts on the attack. The deadline for submission is Friday, so many posts would not have made in time. There were undoubtedly countless posts she had to sift through as well. She could not include all of them. ...