Firewalking is a technique that has been popular for centuries, ever since some fakir with a cart full of placebos to unload first gathered yokels around a coal pit and took the fiery walk in the hopes that they would believe he escaped burned feet because he was wearing the deity’s own socks and that the stinking concoctions he was doling out actually had some medicinal value.Motivational speaker Tony Robbins was able to use firewalking to much the same effect – in his case unloading tapes and books featuring innumerable hours of him giving you advice that could be boiled down to the Fred Flintstone soundbite “Think big, be big Barney.” It should be noted that Robbins was not suggesting the intervention of a deity, but rather that spending a whole wad of cash to listen to him go on at some retreat in the woods somehow equips one with the mental juice necessary to make such a run without injury. Science-minded spoilsports later put the mysticism surrounding firewalking to rest.
Blackouts are nature’s way of sparing drunks from having to forever remember the shameful acts they may have committed whilst in liquor’s clutches. (Though the legend-like feats of the worst among them have been collected for posterity in our book, “The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death: and other true tales of drunken debauchery). Also, in some places simply telling an arresting officer that you were so blotto you can’t remember a single detail of the crime you are alleged to have committed will result in you being set free with a sandwich and the best wishes of the city… or so we’ve heard.A 25-year-old man in Lincolnshire England was arrested recently for a crime he committed while blackout drunk that one would have assumed involved the consumption of hallucinogenic drugs rather than alcohol – challenging a police car to a fight.The man is said to have finished a night’s boozing by hopping up on the roof of a marked police car and shouting “come on then”, while swin
Been drinking a little too much? Visit our womens alcohol rehab center and enter womens drug rehab at our womens drug treatment center today. You'll get over your addiciton in no time!Thus far, the beastly behavior we’ve chronicled here has been solely that of the human variety. However, in The Shark Book we actually devoted an entire chapter, ‘Crapulent Critters’ to our cousins lower down on the food chain, who took to the booze with a particularly anthropomorphic vigor. From an unscrupulous Royal footman who got the Queen’s Royal corgis hopped up on gin and whiskey (one of whom later met a grisly fate: mauled to death by Princess Anne's bull terrier--the corgi, not the footman, we should specify, given HRM's nasty streak), to Swedish elk trashing a retirement home drunk on fermented apples and a pet parrot tossed from a bar for taking sips of customers’ pints, we’ve certainly seen our share of fauna that’ve dulled their senses with the drink. In a small North Austrian
By joining our womens drug rehab program, you'll be able to overcome addictions like alcohol abuse today! Our womens alcohol rehab center has been rated the best womens drug treatment center available!We Shark Guys hold two Canadian passports, which we’d be more than willing to part with if the right offer came along. Of course we kid and proudly fly the flag wherever we go, expressing our patriotism through the most underhanded of means—on the backpacks of our seeing stars and stripes comrades to the south to tourist hot-spots around the globe.In addition to these important documents, (for which official photos now require that the applicant no longer smile, somewhat undermining our outwardly friendly and polite, if dull global image) we also hold two bus passes. Though only one of us resides in Toronto year round, (while the other stops by occasionally for an orthotic in-sole fitting, or to load up on airport souvenirs), we're both familiar with hopping a turnsti, er, paying f
Bosnian police say a driver was so drunk that he should have been dead when arrested with a blood alcohol level 20 times the legal limit.After being warned by other drivers of a car zigzagging across lanes, police drove out and arrested Branko Milicevic near the southern Bosnian town of Citluk.They were shocked to see test results showing the man's blood alcohol concentration level was 0.6 per cent. The legal limit in Bosnia is 0.03 per cent.via ABCNews
Apparently that 'one small step for man', and all subsequent steps, (and we're guessing space walks too) have been taken in a straight line.According to no less esteemed a publication than the New York Times (of 'all the news that'll fit between 13 inches of broadsheet' fame), there is "no evidence of crew members’ going on space missions drunk or impaired by alcohol".This NASA decree, based on an anonymous online survey of 31 flight surgeons and 87 current astronauts done in the wake of the Lisa Nowak debacle, will finally put to bed any rumors of pie-eyed shenanigans where 'nobody can hear you scream', i.e, 'space' to the pop culture-averse. It's highly unlikely this, or any other announcement by NASA will phase conspiracy theorists though, who believe "astronauts" landed on a Hollywood sound stage and for all they know, might've been drunker than ushers at a monster truck rally while pulling their elaborate ruse. Airline pilots are much more used to such scrutiny, to the point tha
Getting a fake ID from that guy who will, once you've drunk yourself stupid in various lenient bars, supply you with a bogus highschool diploma, is a common rite of passage for many young keeners.More often than not these sorts of identification cards could not pass muster anywhere other than the All-blind and Half-smart Society's annual barbecue and booze-up, but the teens, long having exhausted the liquor cabinet of mom's secret stash of Baby Duck (for all our foreign readers, the worst plonk in the Great White North, unfit to scour sink basins in the southwestern part of France), go for it anyhow.In Japan recently, a 16-year-old raised the bar (and nearly bankrupted one) for under-aged drunken antics the world over when he sauntered into a Tokyo hostess club in the guise of a rich young playboy and began whooping it up in grand style.The teen, who the manager later said ordered drinks and spoke with hostesses as a man experienced in such matters would, and was presumably not asked f
We all have our different ways of dealing with the inevitably of “last call”. Some of us order a tray full of enough high-octane booze to blind an elephant before the dreaded hour strikes. Others might drink only at places where the bartender is a childhood friend and a misguided sense of loyalty might persuade him or her to risk closure and/or heavy fines in order to keep the drinks flowing past the legally mandated hour.But few of us are likely to be as dedicated to keeping the night alive as one British student -- pictured in the inset -- was. The 18-year-old was attending a party in the student residence and had drank six beers, along with some vodka and whiskey when his friends decided they had had enough of him and told him to go home and sleep it off.Presumably at the stage of intoxication where not even this not-so-subtle invitation to leave was registering, the young Brit chose to fight for his inalienable right to party in a way that one might not expect from those out of
It is best, when watching the evening news, to have pre-recorded it. That way you can skip through the horrors of the day and sports (unless you need to collect on Super Bowl bets) and catch only the good stuff like lottery results, the weather and, if you’re lucky, a report on somebody who has just turned 100 but can still dance the cha-cha-cha. The evening news, when carefully edited in this manner, can be almost enjoyable to watch.Of course, the role of the news anchor is essential to the proper enjoyment of a news broadcast. The entire effect of a news broadcast can be thrown off by a newscaster with a face that suggests he’s 60 and a dyed head of hair that suggests a tin of shoe polish applied liberally. A good set of teeth, as well as age appropriate hair and makeup (and in some cases eyewear or modest head accoutrements – earrings, hair accessories etc – in the case of a female broadcaster) are essential. A newscaster must also be able to maintain a steady, neutral tone,
In many respects, big city drunks have it easy over their blotto backwoods brethren. There's no need to blow a sizable portion of your paycheck--the remainder of what's been left in the jukebox of a local saloon--on a cab fare into the hinterlands, if cabs even service those back roads at all. At least you're occasionally able to stumble home if you remember such details as your address (which you distinctly recall scribbling on a napkin and stuffing into a stranger's purse) or that the shortest distance between two points is the straight line you cannot walk.Sure you might wander into an alley inhabited by a tire iron-wielding maniac (who doesn't look like they drive but who take out their bus-pass related frustrations on the noggins of unwitting passersby), but you're at greater risk of having your reasonable facsimile of 'home' be a yellowing mattress hauled out on garbage day.A Sydney man after a night on the town and eschewing public transit (a good move generally, as we've shown
As we've noted in previous posts, to the point of smacking our heads repeatedly against the steering wheel in frustration, we unequivocally, in no way whatsoever endorse impaired driving---our Top Ten Greatest Drinking & Driving Anthems of All Time referring solely to the soundtrack of a drunken, Grand Theft Auto game in the confines of one's moldy basement.That being said, we've taken great pleasure here in pointing out the folly of those who do get behind the wheel blotto and while this may not garner any favor with those who fly red ribbons from their antennae, we'd be hypocrites if we claimed otherwise---as authors of a sizable chapter in our book entitled, Contents May Shift in Transit: Drunk and on the Move.In a subsection of the above, Chariots of Firewater no less, we noted a drunk driver in Germany who got sidetracked with a flat, and in a breach of male etiquette dictating that you change your own damn tire drunk or otherwise, decided to phone for help. In his compromised
[From the recently spit-shined, mahogany editor's desk: This morning, we figured we'd steer clear of commenting on the early demise of the talented Heath Ledger as revelling in the morbid is more the province of the folks over at The Darwin Awards. So, we figured we'd focus on a different Australian-themed story, a 'near death' one in this case.Hip hop is universal and responsible for much of the pop culture we do our best to shield our eyes from on a daily basis, ideally, with a ball cap pulled way down and a hoodie.It's given us, among other things: over-sized duds for fat and non-fat alike, athletic footwear thrown onto overhead wires to mark drug territory (a stern warning against crack dealers bold enough to ply their trade in penny loafers) and seizure inducing ditties. Purists often cite the four pillars that prop up the Temple of Hip Hop, which include DJing (of the type not done at your cousin's Bar Mitzvah when a drunk uncle yells out for 'Hotel California'), emceeing, breaki
I heard this one on the radio this morning. It happened in Segarcea, Romania the past weekend.It was Saturday night and Adrian, 22, was driving home from the party he attended that night, where of course, he had a couple of drinks. A big group of people were walking on the middle of the road loudly singing and yelling. They were also under the influence, as it was Saturday night. The road was covered with glazed frost and Adrian, noticing the partying crowd only the last minute, couldn't manage to avoid them.Floricel D. was hit by the drunk driver, getting seriously banged against the wind shield and flew over over the hood, landing on the the pavement. Police and an ambulance were called in and the victim was taken to the hospital right away. The doctors found Floricel in a semi-conscious state, only not because of the impact but from the huge amounts of alcohol consumed. He only suffered minor contusions and when he came to his senses, he refused to be hospitalized and walked home on
Hustler, the company that makes lawnmowers, not the magazine known for more beaver shots than Canadian tourism literature, claims its 'Super Z' riding mower is the fastest production zero turn mower on the market.Given that our subscription to Popular Mechanics has expired, we're going to have to take their word for it, not to mention the fact that we both live in high rise apartment buildings and require binoculars to see actual grass.We imagine that you wouldn't necessarily want to go off roadin' with the missus on one of these bad boys, but for a mower it can certainly scorch rubber with nearly 30 horsepower. And with a top speed of 15 miles an hour, it's just powerful enough so that you can drag race a Segway scooter and leave it in the dust too, provided there is a mighty tail wind kicking up.Riding mowers may be getting faster, but manufacturers may want to think twice about making cup holders standard, following the wasted antics of a New Zealander, who was stopped by police for
This is one of those things that could only happen in the movies.
James Stirparo, 27, was cruising drunk in his Jeep Cherokee yesterday morning at about 2:30 a.m. when he lost control and smashed into the left and the right guardrails. Somehow he was ejected from the vehicle and landed in the center lane of [...]
Susan Longley of Long Island, New York drank shots of Tequlia and danced the night away at the "China Club" last night in celebration of passing her final exams.A junior at Saint Francis College, Ms. Longely said that she passed her exams by sucking dick. "listen, I'm not the brightest girl in school, but I'm smart enough to use my assets."Apparently, this college slut went from professor to professor offering to suck their dick for a passing grade.It was easy she said. "I sucked each professor's cock and got a passing grade. I'm not a total slut you know; I didn't swallow any cum, just sucked ther dicks and spit their cum on the floor."The hardest passing grade I got was in my History class because my professor was a woman, but I ate her pussy and made her cum hard." I deserve to pass, and now Im going to party the night away."Later that night we observed Ms. Longley drunk, topless and on her knees by the men's bathroom, sucking cock and swallowing cum for free drinks. In fact, this c
Unfortunately, the online Christmas shopping season has come and gone so you might be forced to defer your philanthropy in the form of some promissory gift note indicating that "the George Foreman grill is on its way, I swear". Sadly, at this late juncture, no warp-speed-porn downloading internet service provider or benevolent FedEx guy is going to save your yuletide bacon and ensure your gift arrives in its intended hands by the 25th. At best, you’re resigned to rummaging through the garage for a suitable gift that hasn't been soiled by raccoons or packing a can of bear repellent for a last ditch trip to a big box outlet. Of course, there are those people for whom a holiday gift is a priority hovering slightly above poinsettias for an off-hours plumber, and for whom you can shop worry-free as your paths aren’t likely to cross until well after the Christmas eggnog spills have been mopped up. For these folk and loved ones alike--whose stockings once hung by the chimney with care, an
This gentleman makes a pretty compelling case for Andre the Giant as the biggest drunk (literally and figuratively) in history.
Among the main points:
- Andre regularly consumed up to 7000 calories of booze a day.
- 2 liters of vodka merely made the Giant “feel warm inside”
- During road trips on his bus, Andre usually went through [...]
This is a rough way to end your day. Just as you think you’re gonna get a nice, comfortable chair and finally be able to rest those legs that are so tired out from 4 hours of tailgating, the football game, and the walk to the bar afterward, some friend decides to pull the classic [...]
There are two situations in life where men feel compelled to flirt with women in an overbearing way.
The first and most obvious is the drunk situation. A little bit of false confidence can go a long way when a guy is mustering the courage to talk to a girl.
The second is when a girl needs [...]
Earlier this month, the British Home Office (the government body, not where you say you work in order to keep the tax man’s grubby paws out of your pockets) issued undercover police officers looking to fine bartenders serving the already inebriated – basically every bar patron during the holidays – a field manual telling them how to spot drunks during the holiday season.The manual, given to 90 police teams countrywide taking part in the pre-Christmas Responsible Sales of Alcohol Campaign (Operation Killjoy by our lights), did British taxpayers proud, coming up with such startling observations as “[drunks tend to be] careless with money”, and they also cuss, bump into one another and, on a related note, engage in inappropriate sexual behavior, as well as slur their speech and have difficulty following any conversation that goes beyond: “Fancy a pint?” “Too right. Your round.”Newspapers and pub trade publications (slur that three times fast while touching your nose wit
Jude Law employs an interesting technique to deal with the repetitive questioning in press interviews – he gets drunk! The British actor recently revealed
Boozing, when done well, is the welcome opposite of work. Very little effort should go into a good booze-up; the drinker’s main concern should be remaining smilingly ruddy-faced while pouring the nectar down his or her gob and thinking capital thoughts. There are, however, certain minor exertions that interfere with the complete rest that is the drinker’s due when tippling, and it is here that technology has stepped in admirably to help out. There is, for instance, the automatic beer dispenser, which saves your dedicated drinker the nuisance of having to needlessly trouble the muscles in his legs by leaving the couch to get a beer (Note: This has yet to be mass-produced as far as we know. It will probably take a bit of tinkering as the prototype model does appear to carry the risk of bloodying the nose of an eight-year-old who just happens by while daddy “orders up another.”) Someone has undoubtedly tackled the problem of the other reason why a drinker needs to get up, thou
The " Delaware Reporter" reported yesterday that girls at Wesley College, the oldest private college in Delaware has experienced an increase in drunk college girls flashing the lean young bodies to professors during class lectures.Dr. Sonny D. Wild, president of the college was quoted as saying " these college girls should no better, I mean lets face it, college girls flashing T & A is not appropriate in a collegate setting; however, off campus I would not mind pumping these college sluts with alcohol, getting then drunk and having sex with them."
The Daily Hampshire Gazette reported yesterday that “Smith College”, a college for women, decided to add a new course to its curriculum. The course entitled “I am a Drunk College Girl” was added because of the increase in the use of alcohol and increased sex by freshman at the college.Allen Barbara Young, director of institutional diversity said " and we have all types of college girls gone wild at this institution and that there is a place for all kinds of women, be they drunk college sluts, party girls or just club sluts."However, Mary Wild, the dean of the college, said the issue of sex and alcohol and college girls gone wild on spring break raises complex issues the school has not fully addressed.Nevertheless, she said while Smith is a women's college and only accepts wild college girls, party girls, drunk girls and club sluts; the school has no intention of rejecting wild party girls, and drunks sluts flashing and exposing their lean young bodies, all in need of alcohol an
This is genius. Sure some people might not be able to function at 0.08 but that is just a drop in the bucket for me. I have long believed you should be able to take a driving test while under the influence of alcohol. If you pass the test then you would get some kind [...]
The lawsuit filed on behalf of 21-year-old Korie Hoke of Mesa contends her drunken-driving accident and resulting injuries, said to include brain trauma, could have been prevented if not for police negligence for leaving her unattended.
Officer Lateef Hampton found Hoke hysterical and sitting in her car, according to a taped March interview that Hampton gave [...]
Jennifer is a computer science major at Arizona State University and always has a lot of work to do on her computer. So, like most college girls, when she's not out having a good time, she'll be working her butt off designing computer programs and installing software. But many times she is a college girl gone wild.Having recently broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a Friday night for the first time in the three years they had been dating. Feeling sad, alone and depressed, she decided surf the internet and get on to a chat line. Being the wild college girl and a slut , she logged on a sex line. Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as "Robby."Soon they were having cybersex. This went on for a while, and then she got off the line agreeing to meet him back on line the following night. Saturday night rolls around and Jen is on line with robby again. They became even closer this night, and continued like this for a week. At the end of the week, they started tal
Last night we had a wild party at my friend's house. We invited several college girls from city college. Let me tell you this party was wild, we We set a short skirt and no bra rule rule which most of the college girls followed.Janet and her drunk girlfriend were lose and getting down. I mean when college girls get drunk, they are wild. Totally, college girls gone wild, drunk and horny.Once these college girls got their drinks, and got drunk, they had no problem showing off.Need a date for the next hot party? Find a College Girl for Wild Times We spent the entire night partying it and looking at the hot college ass. These girls were drunk, hot and horny as they danced in skimpy ass outfits and grabbed our balls as they danced.My friend John Jay was geeting a Vodka and Cranberry juice at the bar and this girl I'm dancing with starts to rub herself on my cock. God, it was wild. This college girl got on her knees and began giving me a blow job in front of everybody. God, this was a wild p
When a college girls knows that she is hot everybody knows it. These college girls lie to wear next to nothing and shake their phat ass in your face just to get you hard and then laugh.But once they get drunk, these college sluts will do almost anything, and I mean anything.At a recent frat party at Columbia University, I saw some wild college girls. Most of the girls were dressed causal, you know, jeans and a top. Bit when the booze came out - GOD - They began taking everything off. Within an hour, most of the college girls were wearing only panties and high heels.Dancing, and rubbing their warm, smooth bodies against guys private parts. Some college girls were so drunk and really out of it. One girl was naked on all fours, vomiting into a waste basket and some sick guy was having anal sex with her - "The Dumb Drunk Bitch", didn't know she was getting it.I had sex with some girl, and it might have been your girl, but there was so many college girls gone wild at the party that i neede
They say you cannot put a price on freedom, but that is hooey. Freedom, the best kind too, freedom from work, costs a mere $US19.95 via the Excused Absence Network. The network has isolated a distinct need – that of goldbrickers and hungover partiers to shirk a day’s office duties while not losing pay or stepping into pink-slip lane – and has filled it admirably. For this meager fee you can purchase fake doctor’s notes, as well as funeral programs, which will come in handy if you’ve already tested the limits of your boss’ credulity by both the sheer number of aunts you have (if you’re not in a predominantly Catholic country) and how they seem to drop dead close to a long weekend. Halloween this year falls inconveniently right in the middle of the week, making a service such as this one quite handy for those who don’t want to worry about a next-day hangover when they don their Eyes Wide Shut masks and hit the nightclubs to grope random strangers and enjoy the only day of
Drugs.It is a good servant if you take it to cure your sickness.But when you are obsessed with it,something bad is going to happen to you.Real Bad.But unfortunately,you might be caught in the web of this drug obsession or commonly known as drug abuse.If you are intending to quit drugs or still mad about drugs,you should try to stay away from drugs.Real Far.The same applies if you have alcoholic
A slight variation of the “not my pants” defense used by druggies everywhere Gatewood Galbraith used the “too drunk to mean it” defense to help his client beat a murder rap.
A man who shot his drinking buddy to death was too drunk to mean it, a Lexington jury concluded. The attorney who swayed the jury, [...]
My first thought was, "WHHAAAAAT?! drunk astronauts flying a great big ship around up there in space?!!!!!! What would happen if they hit the wrong switch on one of their computers and ended up crashing into a meteor or something?
Isn't there enough trouble with malfunctioning space ship equipment without adding substance abuse into the mix? This is really ludicrious, and I'm sure that you'll agree.
We wouldn't want to get into a bus with an intoxicated driver or into an airplane with a pilot who was wasted on some kind of substance, would we? So wouldn't it make sense to extend these same rules of safety to the outer stratosphere? Yes indeed, you bet it would and NASA, this is quite embarrassing.
I hope it is thoroughly investigated and dealt with appropriately.
READ ABOUT THIS HERE
Practice non-violence in your lives. You will be leaving your children a beautiful legacy.
That’s it. I’m done. Congratulations, Lindsay, you’ve beaten me. I used to think that I possessed a biting wit and a funny take on celebrities’ misfortunes that would endear me to the masses, but you’ve taken that away from me. You’ve worn me down, and I’m waving the tattered white flag of surrender. First you get a DUI on Memorial Day weekend, then you enter rehab. OK, I’ll cut you some slack on account of your admitting that you’re a complete alcoholic (whereas I’m only halfway, i.e. I don’t have to go to rehab just yet). Then you celebrate your 21st birthday, sober and with your mom. I celebrated mine at a Bacchalanian Italian feast before gallivanting across Southern Europe for the next 3 months, but once again, I was willing to take it easy on you. Then you go out and drag race across LA last night, drunk on appletinis (or were they cosmos?) with some blow in your pocket, to boot. At this point, you hav
So this guy in Green Bay was driving drunk (big surprise). He hits two pedestrians (a man and a woman) on the East side of town. Does he stop to provide some sort of help? Of course not… Instead, he continues driving home and drags the woman for a ways.
Not only that, [...]
Celebrity endorsements are tricky things. Get it right, and the synergy of artist and product creates a circle so virtuous you could roll it down the street and pretend it was Doctor John CD.Get it wrong, and... well, you end up with ideas like having Vince Neil launch a brand of tequila.As in, presumably, if you drink a lot of this and try to drive, that'd be the right way te-quil-a colleague, like when Neil had a drunken crash and killed Nicholas "Razzle" Dingley.
Last night was interesting. Here I was, home alone around 9:30 p.m., dressed in my jammies and ready to read some blogs and do a whole lot of nothing when my mom walked in the door all dressed up and ready to hit the town. LOL! Somehow our wires got crossed because I had NO intention of going out last night but she thought we had plans. Yeah, she just twisted my arm so hard, I HAD to go out, and I'm glad we did.On Friday night we went out and there was this girl there right from the beginning dancing like a whore on the dance floor with her friends. (Not that I'm knocking it - I may or may not have danced like a whore on the dance floor in my past. I'm sorry to say I can't comment further on the issue per my attorney's advice.) She was grinding on them and then she'd walk up to any man who happened to be standing around and do that...that dance where you turn around and put your ass facing the guy and then gyrate down to the floor and pop back up...you know that move? Yeah. She
Haha, wat een vertoning weer!
Dit meisje heeft veel te veel gezopen, kan bijna niet meer op haar benen staan, en probeert toch nog te “dansen”.
Je begrijpt zeker wel dat daar weinig van terecht komt.
Drunk sexy Dance kun je hier gaan bekijken.
Neem er nog 1 van mij als je uitgedanst bent! ...
Als ze nuchter geweest was had ze dit denk ik nooit gedaan, maar als mensen iets teveel alcohol op hebben doen ze nou eenmaal dingen die ze anders niet snel doen.
Dit meisje durft het aan om een vuurpijl tussen haar billen te steken die de lucht in gaat.
Drunk girl shoots ...
De bruidegom in dit filmpje moet zijn kersverse dronken bruidje beter in de gaten gaan houden, want ze hangt in haar dronken bui zo haar billen buiten de limo
Het ziet er wel grappig uit, maar of ze er ook blij mee is als ze weer nuchter is?
The drunk ...
Toen ik zat te kijken naar deze 2 stumperds moest ik denken aan die keer dat ik zoiets in het echt een keer gezien heb.
Een dronken kerel was toen met zijn fiets het water ingereden omdat hij de bocht vierkant nam, en zijn dronken vrouw stapte zo de sloot in ...
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