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Kanka's Sports Page
Notre Dame and Cleveland sports, and more
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-08-09 04:13:00
Editor's Note: Real, original football content coming soon, I promise. Or at least I hope.
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Tough week for Michael Vick. A spokesman for PETA announced that he has film of the Falcons quarterback throwing pigskins. Word is Vick is planning to sell his Virginia estate where ...
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Trade Rumors! Hooray!
2007-07-26 02:55:00
With the trading deadline less than a week away , here's a quick look at trade rumors involving the favorite teams of some of this site's loyal readers. Thanks to MLB Trade Rumors, a very Gammonsesque source.
Boston Red SoxTheir fans invade our ballpark, and now I have to lead off the article with them? For some reason, the Sox haven't found a spot for Wily Mo Pena's talent, so he's a name ...
Rumors
Trade
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-07-23 04:12:00
Editor's Note: Looks like I had some catching up to do.
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Topps is producing insert cards that commemorate each one of Barry Bonds' career homers. If you put all 745 of them together, they're slightly smaller than the size of his head. ...
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35 Years of Title IX
2007-07-16 02:36:00
June 23 marked the 35th anniversary of Title IX. If you're not a sexist pig, be sure to check out the many interesting articles on these sites:
SaveTitleIX.com
TitleIX.info ...
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Ask Hal
2007-07-10 01:04:00
Those of you who know me well know that my favorite sportswriter is, or was, Hal Lebovitz. It all started with his "Ask Hal" columns, where the former player/coach/scorekeeper/umpire/referee would answer questions sent in by readers. That's why I was excited when I heard his best questions and answers had been compiled into a book. It's also why I was even more excited - honored - when the ...
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Top Eleven Ways Baseball Is Just Like Chess, In Increasing Order Of How Lame I Think It Is
2007-06-30 17:49:00
by Klondike, 2007 KankaNation Laetare Recipient
Editor's Note: This is the second in what Klondike hopes is a monthly series of his opinions on sports. Click on the "If Klondike ran sports" label at the end of this article to check out the complete collection.
#11: You can sacrifice players.
#10: People are constantly trying to figure out how to do things better with computers.
#9: To get the ...
Baseball
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Road Trip!
2007-06-10 17:28:00
I'm going to (try to) live blog my big Midwest Barnstorming Tour on a separate site. Check it out here. Wish me luck as I head out today.
(Apologies to CPF for blatantly stealing his template.) ...
Road Trip
Trip
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-05-14 01:26:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
This week was the 70th anniversary of the Hindenburg crash. To commemorate the event, the Dallas Mavericks cleaned out their lockers.
The Yankees signed Roger Clemens to a one-year contract giving fans who set fire to their Clemens jerseys a chance to buy new ones. We look ...
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My Managerial Debut
2007-05-10 03:09:00
Due to various, well, pregnancies, I almost wasn't going to have a coed softball team to play on this summer. That was, until F-Bomb and I decided to take charge of the team. Despite being a little last minute, we were able to secure a sponsors and (almost) enough players to put together a team. Once that was settled, I spent the next few weeks researching various thoughts on the defensive ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-05-07 01:12:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
NBA commissioner David Stern is thinking about adding several teams in China. Spud Webb can finally realize his dream of playing center.
Knicks coach Isaiah Thomas was seen getting cozy with model Tyra Banks at New York's Club 66. If that's what 33 wins gets him, imagine ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-05-07 01:09:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
FSN Northwest will not renew a broadcast deal with the Portland Trail Blazers. The network has decided to move away from amateur athletics.
Speaking of amateur athletics, the Boston Celtics severed ties with guard Sebastian Telfair after he was arrested with a loaded gun in ...
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NFL Draft Review
2007-04-30 03:12:00
What, original content?
From the Cleveland Browns' PerspectiveIt was a wild but successful first round for the Browns. Cleveland took OT Joe Thomas with the third overall pick, but they weren't done yet. After Brady Quinn was still around as of the 22nd pick, Cleveland traded their 2007 second round pick and 2008 first round pick to Dallas for the chance to draft Quinn. Fans and "experts" ...
Draft
Nfl
Review
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-30 02:49:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
This week marked the beginning of the NBA playoffs. Or as the Hawks call it: vacation time.
Elsewhere in basketball, Upper Deck Authenticated's new Kobe Bryant action figure is so realistic you can't even get the ball out of his hands.
Fox featured San Diego State alumni ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-30 02:41:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Top NFL draft prospect Amobi Okoye admitted during interviews at the NFL combine that he has used marijuana. Teams are now wary of drafting him, as they now have to factor in the price of all those Cheetos.
Barry Bonds is continuing his pursuit of Hank Aaron. Let's hope all ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-30 02:38:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Congratulations to Kenya's Robert Cheruiyot, who won the Boston Marathon by outrunning the rest of the Kenyans. We're tired of Americans losing every marathon, and are starting our own. The course will be nine miles and can be driven.
Yankee pitcher Carl Pavano's girlfriend ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-18 01:25:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Denzel Washington's son will make his NFL Europa debut for the Hamburg Sea Devils. Well done, Jackie Robinson! Denzel said he is very proud of his son for making it as a European football player, and he's such a good actor that he said it convincingly, too.
In American ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-18 01:24:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Snowstorms forced the Indians to play the Angels in Milwaukee. Fans at Miller Park were thankfully too drunk to tell the difference.
Elsewhere in baseball, Atlanta Braves pitcher Mike Hampton will miss his second straight season because of elbow surgery. Eric Gagne is suing ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-18 01:21:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
International players now make up 29% of Major League Baseball. So if you've gotten an American education, that's more than half. The New York Mets have the most international players on their current roster with 72,000. Half of Boston's roster is foreign born, but they all ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-06 00:35:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Congratulations to Sammy Sosa on making the Texas Rangers opening day roster. Thankfully for Sosa, most restaurants in Arlington do not charge a corkage fee.
Those watching a recent Cubs-Diamondbacks game were treated to a rare sight: a female umpire. Just what ballplayers ...
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-04-04 00:53:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Former major league pitcher Ugueth Urbina has been sentenced to 14 years in prison for the attempted murder of five workers on his family's ranch. Urbina is still thankful he doesn't have to play for the Cubs. No one was actually killed in the incident – and we thought ...
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Another Call for Guest Columns
2007-04-01 03:53:00
I've just received some great news. Baseball in Lorain County is one the rise. Lorain has renovated its Class F field into a professional-caliber stadium. "The Pipe Yard" will be Cleveland State's (Cleveland isn't a state) home field this year, and it will also host several games for Lorain County Community College. The long-term - or more appropriately, medium-term - hope is to lure a ...
Guest
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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
2007-03-30 01:20:00
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Editor's Note: Kanka's Sports Page is taking another step towards the big time. I'd like to welcome Steve Hofstetter (whose credits include Sports Illustrated and Maxim and his staff, who graciously offered to allow this site to syndicate their Sports Minute (Or So) for ...
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(Last) Weekend in Review
2007-03-28 01:47:00
St Patrick's Day 2007 Edition
By midweek, things were really starting to come together. Dave was going to fly in Friday night, coincidentally on the same plane my sister would be on, for a weekend of frolic that would include F-Bomb's birthday and St. Patrick's Day. To make things better, Klondike planned to get out of work early so he could also make the drive out to the Cleveland area. On ...
Review
Weekend
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MLB Preview #6: AL Central
2007-03-23 02:33:00
Minnesota TwinsLineup
Luis Castillo 2B
Nick Punto 3B
Joe Mauer C
Mike Cuddyer RF
Justin Morneau 1B
Rondell White LF
Torii Hunter CF
Jason Kubel DH
Jason Bartlett SS
Rotation
Johan Santana
Ramon Ortiz
Boof Bonser
Carlos Silva
Matt Garza
Scott Baker
Glen Perkins
At first glance, you see essentially the same lineup that won the division last year. A pessimist would point out that at least half of ...
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